Jun 6, 2008

thoughts

With Curtis on the autism spectrum we were told when he was diagnosed that his brothers were at a high risk of being delayed or being diagnosed at well. By that time Gregory was already getting services as he was delayed. And Sam was about 4 months old. I knew to expect it. However no matter how much you prepare yourself you can never be prepared to hear the words your child is delayed and needs services. I thought I was prepared. It was even something I was thinking would happen just based on info I was finding on the nets about development and where your child should be what your child should be doing. Each time I would read these guidelines I would find one more thing that Sam should be doing that he wasn't doing. Yet in my heart I was also hoping that Sam would be on target. 2 sides of it all and I wanted to be on both sides. I have been doing so reflecting trying to figure what I could have done to make sure that Sam didn't fall behind. And you know what? I can't think of one single thing I could have done. Well okay I coud have done the whole flash cards and baby mozart and baby einstein videos and any other thing out there being marketed as being the product that will make your child develop the best way possible. So why didn't I? Because I am more of a hands on Mom. From the get go I played with Sam on the floor, read books, experimented along side him and provided love and support the best way I know how. I here about experts saying that this is known as floor time. No floor time here in this house as the floor is the most likely place you find me unless I'm on the pc getting some time for myself because I need to regroup. I know it's nothing I did or didn't do...however Mommy Guilt is here. People think I'm a saint...and I have no idea where they get that from...however that alone is what is keeping the guilt at a low roar. All I am doing is giving Sam the help he needs.
I spoke with the OT. Remember Sam's first session with her and the amazing happy little boy he was that day? Yea just one day and then it's all gone. M (ot) does not think that had anything to do with the session at all. So let's recap shall we? That morning Sam was upset because he wanted hot dogs for breakfast. None in the house so he had a melt down and head butted me. He got a time out and he cried about that for an hour. He watched The Little Einsteins and Mickey Mouse....the 2 must see shows in the house. At lunch time he again wanted hot dogs. None in the house. This caused another melt down, more hitting and another time out. Miserable right up until M got here. Why? Besides not having hot dogs he was also mad because Mickey Mouse was not on. Sam wants Mickey Mouse at his beckon call. How dare he not be on 24/7. Sam jumped right in and did his thing with M. M leaves. Sam gets upset over the fact that M is leaving. However I was able to distract him with...can you guess?.....Mickey Mouse because it was time for a second show! Then we went to the store and Sam was a very well behaved boy! And was the rest of the day. Even though he was told upteen million times that Mickey Mouse was not on anymore. And we still did not have hotdogs in the house! When told no he would just go and do something else. Very rare for Sam. Since that day we have 2 more visits with M. And did not get the same results in Sam because she brought puzzles and blocks. So if this is not related to the OT session on that day then what is it? Oh I know...it is related to the session and M does not want to admit that this is what we are looking for in Sam to get Sam into summer school. It's called regression! I don't know how else it could any more clear! However since I know the ropes already....I brought this up with V (speech). Her thoughts? Write it down as it's a sign of regression. For one day he was able to get through his day without meltdowns and hitting even if it was after the session...it proves he is able to do so. I will go over M's head if that is what it takes! In fact I hope this is the only day this month that Sam does well. This way the regression lasts a long time and I have lots of data to share at his next meeting which will happen at the end of this month because he turns 3.
We met A (specail ed). I'm keeping an open mind with her. However she is more laid back than I think one should be for working with Sam. He leads and that truely is not helping me out. 2 visits and they both went like this. I'm hoping that she is just shy and needs to warm up. Sam is now expecting this to be the way things work around here now. He wants control over everything now. It's amazing what happens with just 2 sessions. Going to have a chat with her next week to get this fixed. I can't have this going on with him on top of everything else he is doing.

I do have some good news though...imagine that!...LOL
Sam has been using the potty now every single day from the time he wakes up till he goes to bed! Today is day 5 of this!!!! I can't believe we are here doing this! And in case you are wondering what my secret is? We ran out of pull ups the day before we got hubby's last check from work. We had one left and that needed to be for bedtime. So I hid the pull up in the towels in the bathroom. He didn't even see me do it! I showed him the empty diaper bag and the empty bag from the pull ups and he went and got under wears and put them on and started using the potty right away! He didn't hear me talking with daddy in code about hiding them. He didn't see me hide them and because he was the one who got the last pull up he knew there was no more!
And....
Hubby is at work right now! And he works this weekend too! And he will be home in time to fire up the grill so I don't have to cook tonight either! It's a blessing all around!


4 comments:

list mama said...

I LOVE chocolate (who doesn't)! I'm going to send my sister the link to your blog. Her son was diagnosed a year ago. The past year has been a learning experience for everyone!

Jen
http://www.listplanit.com

mommyandmeboutique said...

I just read your post and my heart is touched. Motherhood at its best is difficult but also with many blessing. I can tell how you talk about Sam that you have great love and concern for him, wanting to find out what is best for him, what will encourage him and help him develope to be the fine young man he should be. I send you my love and encouragement I pray that God will continue to give you the love and strength and wisdom for your daily needs,

Lisa *leelee* said...

my 9 year old has aspergers.When he was diagnosed I had no idea that it ran in the family.My now 5 year old is diagnosed with autism.He is nonverbal.So there it is.My youngest goes through regression as well.He needs constant education and schedule to keep him on track.He goes to summer school to keep it up.The only time I really get frustraited is when I see people going on lovely vacations.I get jelous with it.But I have to get over it.Oh how I wish my son was potty trained *sigh* Have a marvy day:)

TLC said...

found you through entrecard. I also have two with high-functioning autism. I feel your pain. I homeschool them, so I don't have to deal with the school's services, though.

T.