Mar 11, 2008

Figureing things out

My 6yr old is really testing my parenting skills and abilities. It's been 3 yrs since he was dx'd with autism and sensory prossessing disorder . 3 very long, tiring, testing, loving, hard work years. I have enjoyed all 6 yrs of his life. And once again we have a trial to deal with. He was dx'd a year ago with ADHD being more hyper than anything. We tried meds with him and the boy he became on them was not him at all. He became a new boy who we didn't quite like. We still loved him of course. But we hated the sleeping he was doing with the first 2 meds we tried. He would sleep litterally from 4pm to 7am when we would finally get him to wake up for breakfast and to go to schoo. Waking him for dinner was not doable. Sure he would wake up walk to the table and go back to sleep at the table. The next med we tried allowed him to be awake. Yet it would make his sensory seeking tendencies even worse. He could not feel where his body was. The same effect people have going out to outer space. Not having gravity, yet he did. He ran into walls just to feel the wall. Throw his body on the floor just to feel. Fall just for the sake of falling against the very hard surfaces. The seeking became worse. He was covered in bruises. I had to call his teacher every morning before school to let her know about how he got a new bruise. I feared that a stranger would see his legs and arms and forehead and report us thinking we were abusing him...this is how bad this became. The last one we would try would make him an emotional wreck. Give him something he asked for and he would throw himself on the floor and tears would flow. Ask him what was wrong and it would get worse. Again we would go back to the doctor. This time with Daddy. He had enough. He put his foot down and said no more. So no more it would be.
Until now.
9 months of not being on meds. 9 months of us adjusting to "This is our son. We accept him for the way he is. We will find ways to deal and live with our son because there is no cure. Just ways of coping and meds were no longer an option for us to cope." We have. We do. And still do.
Yet again someone is in our ears saying he needs the meds because he is no longer focusing the way he should. The meds would help him focus. And my favorite "He was on them last year and they worked wonders and we don't understand why the meds stopped"
Would you be able to continue with something that was not working? No? I didn' think so. Hubby says that people can't and won't ever accept our son the way we have. And in 6 yrs I have learned this myself and have come to terms with that. Yet it's the school that is pushing us in a direction I fear going back to. I don't see it working again. I see more of what we went through last year.
I don't know what we are going to do but I hope I can figure this out BEFORE the school pushes harder. Any more pushing from them and I am apt to go off on them the way I have with my mother. What? I have not told you about her? I will.In the near future.
In the meantime when I am not to be seen here on my blog or others' blogs or any of the networks that I am a part of I am on the internets looking for other options besides meds.


Jenna said...

Oh wow, girl. This is hard. But don't let the school push you. Find another school or homeschool or find a different teacher.

ADHD kids can be difficult esp. in large classrooms. Perhaps he'll need something different.

My prayers are with you.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am enjoying the party!

Honeybell said...

Bravo to you for doing what you think is right. Don't let anyone tell you what is the best way to parent your son, especially when medications are involved. Meds work beautifully for some kids with ADHD, but it certainly isn't a cure all. Good luck!

Becky said...

jenna: Thanks for the kind words. Changing schools is what we are saving for a last resort if we can't figure this out for him. If I could homeschool I would. He thrives more in the public school than he does at home. He is actually in a small class of only 12 other students, his teacher and a teacher's aide.

Becky said...

Honeybell: You can bet I am not going to let them push me around! Never have taken kindly to being pushed into directions I don't like:) Meds can work for ADHD. Having gone through what we did last though I am not willing to go that route again. Thanks for the support! I imagine that something will come to mind.