Apr 28, 2007

This is normal?

I am having one of those moments where I do not in anyway feel my age. Others don’t even come close to getting my age right! I feel like I am 40 look like I am 60. No disrespect to those in these age groups at all. It has to be something I am going through. When I look in the mirror I don’t see a face that says 27. When I go out in public and want to buy my cigs (Yes I know this is bad for me. read future posts about my journey and challenges with this really bad habit) or even want to by say beer for dh and some Capt Morgan for myself which this habit no I can’t even call it a habbit cause this happens maybe once or twice a year…honest. The people who need to sell me this stuff always without fail asks for my ID. When they read 1979 on my ID they say sorry about that! You look like you are 14!!! What about me makes me look this young? If I look this young why can’t I at least feel this young too? I have 4 kids!
I was 17 when I was pregnate with my oldest..18 when I gave birth. I was 21 when I had my first son…22 when i had the next and then I was 25 going on 26 when I had my youngest and when I had my tubes tied…June 30th is when I had my baby via c section and then they tied my tubes while I was still awake and numb from my neck down. For the birth of my babies it went like this: 1 induced labor that lasted 22 hrs and pushed for almost 3 hrs when my daugher finally made her entry into the world. Having gone through this i elected to have a c section with baby number 2. I was out cold for that and i was in so much pain afterwards i could not stand to sit lay down or walk much less move my tummy. So then scared of that I elected to do a v bac with baby number 3. That was smooth sailing. Now my youngest baby. I had a rough time though out the whole pregnacy.
I had moring sickness so bad i was dehydrating to the point at least 2 or 3 times a week I would have to the hospital to seek treatment. only to turn around and go back. I was gaining weight though I don’t know how cause this lasted until around my 8th month. so when on top of this i started having contractions and found out I had way more amnio fluid than needed…and they thought that one of Sam’s legs was shorter than the other..I made the choice 2 days before my last appt when i decided to tell the doc to give me a c section so i can have my tubes tied. I was not going to go through this again ever!
So the day before this appt when I could tell this I once again went to the hospital with contractions that i could barely breath through…could not move with..I got my wish that night! Sam was born via c section so i could have my tubes tied.
Ok that is the history of my body. It has been through alot in the last 8 almost 9 years. Others can see it I can feel it yet I am still told that I look 14?!?
WTF??!! Is wrong with these people? To have a normal hair color I have to get it from the box. My hair is going through a beating. Because I dehydrated so much with baby number 4, my hair dried out and its falling out. My doc says the best way to cure this is to dye it just so I can get the conditioner for my hair that comes with said dye. Its a working progress.
I did have to cut my hair before I got this advice because it was so dried out that my long hair (middle of back long) had knotted itself around a pony tail during the night. i could not get it out so i had DH cut my hair above the pony tail..washed my hair and went to the salon to get it fixed.
Hair is thriving now.
So after all of this….these are the reasons why I feel they way I do. Not to mention all the day to day things of living and raising 4 wonderful children!
You see my photo on here what do you think? Am I over reacting or is this just something I need to go through to come to terms with my age and what I have done to my body?