This was written in a diary when we had Little Man. I did piece this together here and there as some info was missing. This is our journey from 2001 to present. If I can’t get this all in one I will do another post.
I was 21 when I gave birth to Little Man via C section…the doctor thought he was going to be over 10 pounds and that my hips would not allow a baby that big to pass through. He was only 7 pounds and 15 and a half ounces. When I came to he was screaming his head off…normal right? This crying never stopped. While we were in the hospital for my recovery the nurses and the peds that came in to check on Little Man every morning said his crying was normal for a newborn. On the 2nd day in the afternoon i was once again amping to breastfeed him when he started gagging and turning blue….nurse then discovered he had a huge amount of fluid in his stomach and lungs which she said was what all the crying was about. I got tired off my baby not eating so i finally just gave him a bottle. We left the hospital the next day with a crying baby…
He never stopped crying except for when he was naked on a fuzzy blanket. The doctor said it might be due to the formula so we switched to a soy formula…that didn’t last him a day. He was throwing that up after every feeding. So we went back to the ped who put him on a special formula…and that seemed to do the job for his feedings but over the next 2 months the crying was still going strong. Ped then said he was a baby with colic and to invest in a baby swing. That was a life saver for us until the age of 7 mos when he outgrew the swing.
Once again we were embarked on a journey of crying that had no end…no other swing was good enough for Little Man. We continued on this journey until he turned 15 months….now pregnate with Gregory… the crying stopped but it was replaced with behaviors that the ped and family insisted was just the terrible two’s setting in. I hated going out in public, family picnics, etc due to Little Man screaming and running from me, hitting everyone in his path and destroying anything and everything he came across. I stopped getting nick-nacks because he would smash them as soon as they were placed on a shelf.
By this time Little Man had a 3 word vocab….ba, ma, da. Other kids his age and younger were able to tell their mommy and daddies what they wanted and i had to play 101 questions while he threw himself on the floor and cried. I knew something was wrong with my son why else would he not be talking and raising wreckage whenever he could?
I went back to the Ped who finally sat and listened what all I had to say to him about what was going on with Little Man (I’m now 8 and a half months along so maybe that had to do with the Ped actully listening and not just brushing off a young mommy?) He agreed to refer Little Man to Early intervention for an eval…..
A couple of people from a special school came to the house a few days after I gave birth to Gregory . And while they played with Little Man they were pointing out things that I didn’t notice but did after they pointed it out. They wrote up a report and when i read this report all i did was cry because he was at a 7 months level with all development at age 17 months. they wanted him in speech therapy and have a special ed teacher as well.
And so our big journy bagan. speech was once a week and special ed was 2 times a week. within a month i noticed big changes he was starting to learn sign. His speech therapist recommended a play group for him which he attended one day a week for a half hour. His teacher was pointing things out to me that really didn't make any sence to me…he hated the sand, water, rice, birdseed tables. he was always taking off his clothes and I told her its something that he has always done…even as a baby we kept him naked whenever possible due to the crying. 6 months later, Little Man would pick up a new sign or word every other week but then i would notice he would stop using the ones he had before. this stunned his ST who then wanted another eval done. this time it was done by an OT who said at the eval that Little Man is sensory sensitive…possibly from birth. By this time i bacame worried because my son who ate anything has suddenly stopped. yet i was told its the sensitivity that was causing him not to eat and he would need OT to correct this. We had to put off the OT because we were in the proccess of moving and wanted to wait till we were in the new apartment before embarking on a third teacher to be coming. when OT did start Little Man was not eating anything and his behavior was bad, he cried at anything, threw himself when asked what does Little Man want? OT said sensory intergration dysfuntion and i was floored what is this and what am i suppose to do to help him?
After a few months of doing what we had to do to help Little Man, i was still having questions and one thought that was always with me….what is wrong with my Little Man?
Another specailist came in and reviewed everything and said yet again autism after a speech then another speech followed. I dont remember what was said beyond that. I do know they kept asking how I felt. What was I thinking. How I was doing. I knew they could read me like a book. I was shocked. I was feeling like a bad mom. I had yet another answer to why my Little Man was the way he was. Autism.
We drove to cousin Steph’s house after. I needed to talk to her and tell her what we had just went through. I was numb. I could not wrap my mind around this. I kept trying to think what I did during my pregnancy that went so wrong. What did I do to cause my son to be autistic?
Fast Foward to today
Little Man is now 5 yrs old. He is in kindergarden and what a year we have had. He was just recently dx’d with ADHD. We are trying to find the right meds for him. we are close but still not right on target with it. We will get there though.