Chocolate Party

Bad Blogger….Bad

2009-03-04T18:58:00.000-05:00

I know the last time I was on this blog was when I wrote about getting the puppies. I had planned on writing about their training from the stuff like sit and shake to the housebreaking. What I did not know then is that having 2 puppies and 3 boys in the house……ALL MALE was going through me for a loop. I do have Sucker on my forehead. If my camera was working I would be able to show proof.

Rocko is smart. I can’t keep up with him as he wants to learn everything there is to learn RIGHT now and there is now waiting end of story. Even when he has to go potty you better be ready to go out the door otherwise he will leave a present. But I’m getting better and faster. The boys are too. What? Of course they are going to help take care of them! Though they are not so little anymore…the puppies. I can’t have the boys taking them outside alone unless I want to spend the next 30 mins to an hour to get them back in the house. Rocko can sit, stay (almost), come to my side (I say side pat my leg and he knows to come up and sit by my side and not move), shake, roll over and sit pretty. Oh and come.

Balto on the other hand he has no need to learn. He looks at me with his head tilted like I’m Looney and dropped out of the sky at that very moment. He can sit and shake but it takes a lot of coaching (oh hell just read lots of treats!!!!)

I have done lost my mind. And now that I’m not going outside in the snow every 10 mins I have time to find my mind again. I know I know I have said that a few times only to disappear again. I don’t think anyone could deal with 2 puppies, 3 boys and a Hubby and still have time for blogging. Lots to catch up on here on this blog but I promise….cross my heart, hope to die and if I do stick a needle in my eye, that I will be back!

The kids real quick as it’s about time to go back out in the cold here is a run down:

Curtis is not holding his own in school. Waiting for a meeting to address this.
Gregory is holding his own and more!!!! 110% better than last year….woo HOoo!!!!!!!!!
Sam is in school and talking up a storm. And can you believe that this child is NOT Potty Trained??? Stubborn and willful child. More on this later.
I now own a laptop, Wii and the Wii Fit.
DH is working like a mad man.

That’s all until Tomorrow at 9am I promise!!!!!!

Meet Balto!

2009-01-04T11:11:00.004-05:00

I must have sucker tattoed on my forehead. I got talked into by DH to bring another puppy home from the litter that Grandma has. This one is Balto. Rocko and Balto. I hate that their names rhyme but it's what he was named by MiL. In fact they both come running when I say just one name so it does make it that much easier. But also that much harder to teach them who is who.

Gregory is so very happy! From birth he has laid claim to Balto! He's my friend! When I came in the door with him on Jan. 2, Gregory shouted from the roof tops: My friend is here my friend is here!!!!!!!!

Curtis is happy cause we have two puppies! And Sam is too! Though he is confused cause Balto is the same light brownish color as Grandma's dog Dozer (German Shepard/Collie mix) and is calling him Dozer.

Tomarrow the kids go back to school which will give me time to train the pups. Not just the usual sit, stay, shake bit either. In, up, down, house, home,yard and every other command I can come up with. Fun times around here!

Forgot to add the photos.

Balto is on the left and Rocko on the right (looking at the picture)

One more thing they are husky and black lab mix. Balto has the husky markings with the lab hair. Rocko is marked like a lab with husky hair.

Hello Friends!

2009-01-01T09:27:00.005-05:00

First off Happy Holidays! You know the ones from November to today. So Happy New Year!!!!
Can you believe it's 2009!!!

I know you are wondering where I have been. Well let's just say Life happened and I needed to live it! So what life? Well where do I start?

Curtis: Struggling in school because of the transition from one school to another. I knew it was too good to be true with his teacher telling me Oh he is doing so well and talking to everybody and making friends! No need to worry! Only to find out after problems here at home and asking his teacher about it did I find out that I did in fact have something to worry about. Just before Christmas vacation he was turning around once I straighted it out...will have to see if he continues once he goes back. It took me forever but I finally got him placed in the 12:1:1 class full day instead of half day! So hopefully this works!

Gregory is a true butterfly! He is doing awesome in school and I know I can believe his teacher! He is writing his name now using letters instead of circles, writing numbers and making true shapes instead of it all being circles! Stick figures are coming out too! His shyness is gone now! Instead of hiding behind me when he meets someone new he talks and ask questions too! To the point to where the new person will ask me if he is ever quiet!

Sam is busy keeping me on my toes! He is still not potty trained but he is training! But please keep that on the down low otherwise he will know and stop it! Every time I tell someone he stops so hopefully I'm safe!

It's great living next door to Grandma and Grandpa! They are helping to keep the boys busy! They are helping them collect wood and stack it up! If Grandpa does this without them they let him know how upset they are. After doing this a few times he now calls and tells me so I can bring them out! Grandma had a litter of 9 pups! Husky/Black Lab pups! They are 7 weeks and 4 days old! 1 of them is a dark gray with true Husky markings. One is a light brown with true husky markings. The others are all black with white chests. Some have white feet too. I could tell so many stories about the pups but will save that for another day!

Which brings me to the newest: We have a new family member!!! His name is Rocko! Yep we got one of the pups and Grandma gave him to the boys on Christmas Morning! Rocko is one of the black and white pups. And he has sharp blue eyes! Grandma and I picked him because from the time his eyes opened to now, he always sat near Sam and took whatever Sam dished out. (No he was not abused because I always stepped in and taught Sam to be gentle though even his gentle is rough). The others would knock Sam down with all their kisses and jumping on him. Even now they still do! It's a puppy attack on Sam though he loves every minute of it!

Man it felt good to sit down and empty my brain just a little bit! I promise I will come back and tell a few stories of things that have happened! In the mean time for your veiwing pleasure here are some pictures!!

Fall Pictures

2008-11-02T08:29:00.003-05:00

Fall 2008 Pictures of Curhttp://www.blogger.com/moderate-comment.g?blogID=7223963474359135107tis, Gregory and Sam.

Gregory

The boys

Curtis and Gregory

The boys

Curtis

Gregory

Sam

Trick or Treat!

Curtis

Sam

Howdy Hi Friends!!

2008-10-31T10:19:00.002-04:00

Happy Halloween!! I have been very busy getting the place in order and organized and unpacked!

Now that it's done I have a ton of pictures to upload but will save that for another day.

Grandma came over last night and helped the kids make their jack o lanterns. Lots of ill yuck that's gross. This is a Dirty Job, Mom. Like I was crazy to have them clean out the pumpkins. Have you ever watched this show? Have a thing about not watching anything gross? Then I say you should watch but be warned some of those jobs make me gag! Curtis and Gregory happily took the guts out with a spoon. Sam well let's just say he would stared at it like it came from outerspace. Though towards the end he got a kitchen spoon and took one seed at a time out. Hard working toddler he is! The boy had a blast though with Grandma. I'm trying to figure out who had more fun her or them?

Tonight the kids and I are going trick or treating. I'm taking them by.my.self. Alone. 3 boys with just me. Oh and I'm driving the 2.9 miles to town alone. I'm nervous but I'm sure everything will work out otherwise we don't go anywhere and there will be no trick or treating.

We are all moved in!

2008-10-21T11:15:00.002-04:00

Good Morning! It's so good to be back. I know my blogging has slowed down alot but it will pick back up soon. Right now I'm unpacking and putting everything in it's place or at least what I can manage on my own as DH has to work. We have been here since Saturday.
A run down of things that have happened since the last time I blogged:

1. FiL paid for our starter in the car to be replaced.
2. FiL had to replace lines in his truck since DH managed to blow one of the lines.
3. Water pressure stinks. We have new water lines and there is an 80% chance that the lines that were put in are too small. It's fun to fill the washer up with water using coffee cans so it can do the rinse cycle.
4. It's fun to fill the tub up that way too!!
5. The boys showed me what to do when the talking smoke alarm goes off when a certain parent is fixing dinner. We run next door to get Grandma and Grandpa in a panic.
6. The boys love to play outside. But only if they go get Grandma first.
7. There is a huge diffrence in the schools even though they are only about 10 or so miles apart. Kindergardners learn how to write in cursive. 2nd grade spelling words are also definitions as well.
8. Sam is really taking off with his potty training. But he has to do it HIMSELF and only when HE feels the need to go.
9. DSL is a smidge slower than cable. But hates to open blogs and entrecard. No clue why but hopefully I can figure that out soon enough.
10. When a car pulls in the driveway...get this...they are actually here to see ME. Not to get mail.

I think this catches everyone up! I still have a ton of stuff to do but honestly I have no idea where to start.

Major Warning Please Read and repost!

2008-10-14T08:08:00.002-04:00

A mom over in the Baby Center Community posted this and I feel that it's serious enough for everyone to spread the warnings about!
Here is what she says:

So, I really want everyone of you to read this! My son is in the hospital now for over a week in the burn unit because he climbed on top of a brand new bissell vacuum cleaner.

You would think I'm kidding but I'm not. This happened at the baby sitter's house a week ago from Wednesday and I'm home real fast on a break from the hospital and will head back later on this afternoon. He's received 2nd degree burns and has had surgery and a skin graft already. This has been a nightmare. Because it seems odd (who would think a vacuum cleaner could burn a kid?), Child Protective Services investigated the situation. They took the vacuum and tested it and sure enough, it was run for approx. 12 minutes and heated up to over 200 degrees. Human skin burns at 110 degrees. My son climbed on the vacuum cleaner when his sitter went to the bathroom (granted, I wish she didn't have it out, but that's a different story). Because it has a foot pedal, he accidentally turned it back on (keep in mind, it's already pretty hot) and we think he either got stuck or just panicked because she came out of the bathroom and found him straddling it and laying on top screaming.

Both of his inner thighs are burned and he can't even walk now. It's so heart wrenching to see my 1 year old who was just cruising around the house a week and a half ago unable to stand up b/c it hurts so bad. He can't even bring his legs together.

Please keep us in your prayers. I would post pictures of his injury, but I feel they are too horrific and graffic. But please, head my warning.

Also, the sitter contacted the Bissell corporation and when they found out what happened, they had corporate get on it. Well, corporate isn't willing to do anything about it. Not even post warnings about how hot their vacuums get. This sent me over the edge and made me angry, so now I'm out to let everyone know that their vacuums could be potentially dangerous. This could very well be a design flaw that only is on this vacuum, but it totally angers me that they are not willing to do ANYTHING about it (except give the sitter a replacement vacuum, yeah right!).

This is the vac Bissell "PowerForce Turbo" Bagless 6585 series. Please please please help spread the word about this! I would hate for any more little ones get burned by this vac because I didn't spread the word through my blog! She posted an update. They are now home and have found a lawyer who is willing to take on a big company!! The grafts are taking and healing!

Please copy and paste to spread the word on this! Here is a link to the post! You won't be able to comment without having an account but you can see it!

It's 4am what are you doing? Myself...

2008-10-11T04:38:00.002-04:00

And I can't sleep. My mind is racing with thoughts so I thought if I wrote them all down I might be able to get back to bed before the kids wake up. So here goes.

1. You know what I can't stand? Companies who say they will call you back with the info you need (In my case I need a delivery date of a propane tank so they can install and fill it so I can cook meals) and then never call you back. You have to call them back the next business day. In this case now Monday which could end up being Tuesday.

2. Why? Why is that boys mostly the 3 yr old kind, have to dump out the bag of broken toys that I have been working on so hard this week?? Sure I took out the toys that they won't play with and have donated them but I didn't think about the broken ones until a few days ago. And yet I can't seem to make progress cause all it takes is for me to turn my back for one second to get the said 3 yr old a drink and he has it dumped out. I'm. Tired. Of. it.

3. We are starting the moving process Thursday! And Friday! I clean this place next Saturday. Today though I clean the new place!!!! And I have some good news....my internets will be turned on that Friday morning so I won't be without the nets for too long. YAY!

4. I'm sick of packing. SICK.OF.IT. and I still have the stuff to pack that we use all the time: clothes...though I have started that. I am washing clothes non stop or so it seems so I can leave out a weeks worth of clothes and pack the rest. I swear clothes are like toys and reproduce. Dishes. Pot and Pans. The Computer and everything else with it. And my pictures on the walls.

5. I swear if Hubby ever gets the idea to move again after this...I'm not going with him. He can pack his stuff and go but I refuse to do this ever again unless it's to our very own house that we can afford to have ourselves. With the economy though that will be in the next several nevers. And even then I plan to rent the biggest dumpseter I can get my hands on and throw everything away and buy new. All of it new. Minus the PC and pictures. Everything else I won't pack.

6. Curtis and Gregory have the screenings for the new school Thursday! I can't wait to have them done because then I will have a way better idea where they are! I can't believe I'm looking forward to that. The 20th is their first day of school in the new school!!!!! Sam will remain where is at! The only thing that changes is the way he gets there. Right now he rides the bus with his brothers. On the 20th he will start riding his own bus. I hope he will like that as much as he does riding with his brothers. I also hope he does not have a problem with it.

7. I have been neglecting my online life for the most part. I have been doing the babycenter communnity thing though. I know I'm so bad and I prolly once again lost readers but you know something?? I do this for me.

8. Back to the propane thing. I called a few diffrent vendors for that. The first 2 didn't want to give me a tank just for cooking. They insited that I needed something bigger to heat the home. Kerosene is for heating and propane is for cooking. They refused to listen so I refused to give them my business. I then called 3 more. One wanted $500 upfront. That includes tank, installation and a fill up. That is my rent where I currently live. No thanks! One wanted 125 upfront, for 2 tanks (i still don't know why) and the gas for it. I would have to pay for labor of the installation but would have to pay once everything was set. After the first fill up it would cost 6.00 a gal. Tanks are 200 pounds roughly 50 gals of propane each.
The last one wants 114 upfront for one tank installation and first fill up. After that it will be 4.10 a gal to fill the 200 pound tank. roughly 50 gals of propane. What am I crazy?? I think I will go with the one that is cheaper upfront and will be cheaper with each fill up.
I still need kerosene but will tackle that next week.

The last one:
Cousin C is making us a medicine cabnet using a mirror that has an odd shape to it. He is awesome with wood working and making things homemade. I am like a child waiting for the sun to rise on Christmas Morning so I finally get out bed and see what Santa brought me. That my friends is how excited I am about this medicine cabnet and can't wait to see what he did with it!

Teachers, schools and other things

2008-10-05T06:36:00.003-04:00

I have not been spending alot of time online in the past month. School has started and Curtis is having trouble adjusting. Only I did not find out until this past Friday. I am going to the school Monday Morning to hand her a piece of my mind in such a way that she won't even know that I did. Curtis has been physically removed from his class EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! since school started because of meltdowns by the princable. No one bothered to call me. No one bothered to send me a letter or even a phone call. Nothing. Notta. Zip. I had called the teacher because I had a rough morning getting Curtis dressed for school and I wanted her to be aware. She took the time out to inform me of the issues they are having and wanted me to tell her what to do.
*bangs head on keyboard*
See I used a form of communication. I'm the Mom. It's my job. Maybe I'm crazy in thinking that the school should also use a form of communication with me? No? I didn't think so. I have been struggling with Curtis to get his homework done every day. I have sent in notes to the teacher. I went to open house. Plenty of chances to tell me what is really going in school. Not BS that he is doing well and such a delight to have in class. And we will come up with a plan to get him to do his homework and I will call you. I'm so hot to trot over this.
I thought it was a home issue. Daddy's schedule has changed and working overtime right now. So we thought this was the problem. Curtis hates change and does do well with it at all. So we were working through it thinking this was it. Talk about running into a brick wall in the dark.
I was working on half the problem.
I do have good news and wonderful news!
The good news: Sam and Gregory are both adjusting quite well in school. I have met with Gregory's teacher before school started and again at open house and I can trust that she is totally giving me the real deal. Unlike some people. Sam is also doing well in school! Though Mondays he has the hardest time with but really who does on a Monday?? Not me!
The Wonderful news. We will be starting our move next weekend! Even though we could totally move next weekend and be done with it...I need just a little more time than that to get the boys' transferred. As much as I am looking forward to this as the new school is so much smaller and maybe it will be a second start for Curtis. I have to be honest. I'm scared to death of moving them. I started 7th grade in a new school new state and I failed big time. I know the boys are younger and will have an easier time than I did. But I'm scared. I want my blankie so I can curl up in a ball until it's over.
I have not admited this fear to anyone. It's enough that I fear calling both schools and doing all the paper work and running between the two. It's enough fear to make it a little hard to breathe.
I am a smoker (I don't want to hear it. It's the ONE thing that is mine and mine alone and I don't have to share so please keep anything not nice to yourself) and I have been smoking more than I did 2 weeks ago. And we just go the go ahead yesterday.
I am starting everything Monday. If I can survive this then I can survive anything!

Fuck This Friday

2008-09-19T11:23:00.003-04:00

I was visiting HoneyBell this morning and got some inspiration for a "Fuck This" series. It's a list of things that have been pissing me off for through out the week. And because I have not had not one word to say in a week...this totally called out to me!!!!

1. The bus driver. Sam has started fussing when his brothers get off the bus at school before him so they can go eat breakfast as school. The one they get at home is not enough even when it consisits of pancakes, eggs and sausage. They HAVE to eat there. Anyways because Sam is fussing she wants me to tell her what do to. I have told her just calmly tell Sam it's okay. Say it a few times and he will stop. Yet every morning and afternoon she wants me to tell her what to do. I don't think she has a brain anymore.

2. My pc is on my list. For some reason every few months it will stop reading Hubby's iPod Shuffle. I have figured out each and every time how to fix the issue. But for some reason now that it has happened yet again I can't figure it out. I'm ready to throw it out the window. But then doing that will leave me without all my friends who live in it!

3.The length people will go, on a community site that is designed for Mom's and Dad's to get together, chat, give advice, get advice, meet new people when the days of parenting can bring you down.....when they don't get features they want the very absolute second they want it. I have a feeling if I hear one more word about Siggies and Thread Memory I will shoot the next person who says it with a note that says "The team is working on it. Please stop beating the horse dead because believe me it's dead already and has been for months."

I secretly wish that it had taken place among bloggers. Because the way it would have been handled would be the topic of the year. Seriously think about what you as a blogger would do if someone claimed you said something and even tried to quote what you said but quoting other bloggers...would do and what you think your readers would do! And all the other bloggers would do knowing the words were put with the wrong person.
And then that someone has the nerve to bitch because someone's words were taken out of context.
(did you follow that? it's important that you do)
I no longer feel like I'm among grown ups. I feel like someone has left me in a room of about a million 2 yr olds.

And that my friends is what is pissing me off this week.

I had to edit this for spelling and change the tittle.

First few days of school...

2008-09-10T11:03:00.002-04:00

It' s been a few days since my last post. I sat down with a book and got lost. I finished that book and got lost in another which I also finished! Reading used to be my thing before kids and it kinda took a very back burner only reading here and there. So how are the kids doing in school?

Curtis and Gregory are having good days and are enjoying themselves. This year Curtis will have homework at some point but I'm still waiting for that to show up. I'm thinking they are still settling in. Also waiting for them both to bring home books too. I have nothing to worry about them....yet:)

Now Sam. Sam is the one who is going to make my hair turn gray as I already see the grays coming in! The first 2 days Gregory was home with me. Sam goes half days and is in a small class of just 6 kids so he has 5 kids in his class with him! Those first 2 days I thought for sure I was going to go off the deep end and get the duct tape out. When Curtis got home from school, Sam turned mean and nasty. I barely got dinner on the table because I could NOT leave Sam alone with Curtis. Hitting, kicking, pulling hair, screaming, even choking. Sam refused to allow Curtis in the same room with him much less in the same house. Nothing and I do mean nothing I did to correct Sam or try to talk to him worked. He would just go right back at it. Thursday night he attacked me. I got a few bruises from that. Friday when he got home from school I shut everything off and we just sat on the couch together and within minutes he was asleep. I chewed my fingernails and tiptoed around the house not wanting to wake him. Curtis and Gregory got home and Sam woke up. I was prepared for battle. And nothing. Sam hugged his brothers and they all had a great evening. Sam now takes a nap the minute he gets home because quite frankly I'm scared what will happen if he don't.
I got word yesterday that Sam is now comfortable in school. He is tuneing out the teacher when asked to do something. He won't sit still for Music. He only eats breakfast there. Sometimes a few bites of lunch. Well let's see.. he tunes me out too. Here at home he dances to music...any kind of music...including music from commercials so I think he knows music is for dancing.

As for his lunch...let's see would your 3 yr old eat Spinach Quiche or ruben casserole or pea salad??????

Let's be frank here...I won't even eat any of that myself. If they would get a kid freindly lunch menu put together the kids would eat. I now feed him lunch when he gets home on the days I know he won't be eating there.

So that is how school is going. I have a feeling it's only the beginning for Sam! I'm ready give me all ya got:)

Do you hear that?!?!?!?

2008-09-05T09:17:00.002-04:00

Silence. Complete silence.
It's so quiet here this morning. The kids are in school. Hubby is at work. The tv is off. The only sounds that I can hear is my tap tap tap on the keyboard, the occasional car drive by, the door to the post office opening and closing, car doors closing and the hum of the computer tower. I did not know that I could hear the door to the post office closing much less the hum from the tower. I keep waiting for a Mommmmmy to break the silence or for someone to jump off the top bunk in the bedroom above my head. I have 3 hours to do anything I want and I have things I want to do, stuff that I really should get done and yet I have no idea what to do first. Even as I sit here wanting to write this morning before I do anything my mind is blank. Blank? It's been so long since I could say that I don't have a thought or something to say, that I am clueless. I have dreamed of this day and feared it all at the same time. And now it's here. WTF do I do now?? Looking around I have laundry, dishes, vacuuming, sweeping,mopping, a desk to declutter, books waiting and calling for me to read, blogs to read, and a table that needs to be decluttered as well. And I don't know which one I should do first. I actually have the time to pick something and do it and then pick something else. Where as before I just did it because it had to be done and I could not think about it. Now? I can think and then do. This is so awesome that it's almost freaky to me.
Who knew that going from kids in the house to being left alone, completely alone would be overwhelming?
Not me.

WW- First Day of School

2008-09-03T10:57:00.003-04:00

Today Sam is at preschool and Curtis is attending his first day of 2nd Grade! Gregory is still home with me which is why he is not dressed. I just could not leave him out of the pics.

See no tears. Thankfully you all can't see me. And Gregory is posing for the camera!

Happy Anniversary

2008-09-01T11:20:00.003-04:00

It's been 7 years since we got married and 8 years since we have been a couple. I can't believe we have made it this long together! We have proven to everyone who said we would never make it to year 2, that we have what it takes.
In the last 7 years we have survived so much together and man did we have bumps, boulders and mountains in our path. Together though we managed to jump, push and climb our way to continue on our path. There were even a few times when one or both of us thought we could not possibly move another step forward and then we would come to our senses and work twice as hard to keep going. Even today we have molehill in our path but I'm confident that as long as we keep talking and working together we can get up and over this one too! So what have the last 7 years brought to us? Let's see:
Within a few months of dating we were having a baby. 7 years ago today we got married. And I will never forget the way I felt standing in front of family and friends and the judge. I was so happy that I was shaking and felt so week in my knees that everyone was just waiting for me to go down. We even managed to get a chuckle in when out of the blue someone is cussing out the cat because he would not leave anyone alone and kept trying to climb up a dress. After everything we packed up Curtis went to burger king for dinner and then went home and to bed. That was the first night in 2 months that Curtis slept all night and would be the last night until he turned 4.
Mike came into the picture. Our first real test. Though I think it would not have been so bad had he learned that phone calls at 2am with a baby in the house was not acceptable. He should have learned that with the first phone call at 2 am when I had an hour's of sleep under my belt and spent 2 hours with Curtis to get him back to sleep and he just went back to sleep when the phone rang. Instead of saying hello I said someone better be dieing or dead to call at this hour. It would be 4am when we all would make it back to bed only for the phone to ring again at 6am. Looking back I find this funny! I guess not only were we being tested but your friendship with him was too.
We have Gregory. Pure daddy's boy through and through even knew this the first few days we were home with him. No matter what I did to prevent him from peeing or pooing on me it would fail each and every time. Though you were able to change him with no problems. Without your support and love I would not have made it through his first year.
Nolan came into the picture and we were tested again. We almost didn't make it. Though we somehow found our way through it. Looking back now though he just came at the wrong time. I was still trying to make it through with Gregory and Curtis didn't want anything to do with me since I had a baby and he felt betrayed by me. On top of that he was starting IE at the time too. For the way we both handled that...someone should have hit us over the head. We made it though.
And then came Sam.
I thought for sure someone else from your past would show up at this point. I held my breath waiting for the phone to ring at 2 am or a knock on the door at 6am. It never did come. Just a few minor bumps here and there but we have been able to pull through them!
Man we have been through alot together! If we can survive a Mike and a Nolan we can survive just about anyone else showing up out of the blue! I truely loved every part of our lives together even the Nolans and the Mikes of the world because I know they were just testing us and we passed! And together with our love we can survive anything that comes our way!
I love you and I so look forward to what the next countless years bring our way cause I'm ready!

Even with the current mole hill in our way I know in the bottom of my heart we can and will get over it, around and past it too!

ETA: Happy Labor Day all! And this is post number 200...will have to do something tomarrow to celebrate that too.

All my work is paying off!!

2008-08-31T09:50:00.005-04:00

This will be the boys' room when we move around the end September! It's not totally done yet but I thought it was done enough to show off the work that I have done so far cause frankly I'm so proud of it! Of Course Grandma and Grandpa did work too! Well actually all I did was put the paint up but still.....

This is the farthest wall in the room. The window that is not whited out actually looks out to the front door:

This is the opposite wall:

This is a close up of the Chocolate Indulgence (the actual name of the brown paint) door frame against the blue:

I swear the floor is darker than it's showing up here. Grandpa did the floor:

And this is the window that was glaring white in the first picture! It looks out to Grandma and Grandpa's house! I'm jealous that they get the room with the bay window.

All that is left or at least it was the last time I heard was to put up the moldings I stained, the new windows and the frames which I might end up doing too.
Just one problem though.
The day Grandma and I were painting with the blue I was hit withe idea of painting chocolate brown stripes on the wall to help break up the blue. It's a small room and the blue is overwhelming me. Can just imagine what the boys think. Well I actually know what Curtis is thinking...it should be GREEN and not BLUE. The first words he said when the blue was first going up. Too late now. Being that the moldings are stained with a brownish stain I'm trying to figure out of that will settle my urge to put the stripes on. And then I did the door frame. And the need/urge just won't leave me alone. I dream in the middle of the night of doing the stripes. If I was to do this it would be the same color on the door frame which is also going on the dressers (which are currently pink because they were given to us).
What do you think??
To do the stripes or not do the stripes?
If I was to to do the stripes there would be just a few per wall. And I would follow the natural lines from the paneling.
All thoughts are welcome:)

10 Things I have learned this summer:

2008-08-28T10:15:00.002-04:00

1. No matter how much food is fixed per meal and snack: Your child will turn around 10 mins later begging you for more food. It can be a 20 course meal and they will still complain they are hungry.

2. Even when all the good snacks (chocolate, chips, crackers, cheese, yogurt) is all gone and there are grapes, watermelon, oranges, apples, etc in the house the kids will tell you they are starving to death however they will not touch all the other snacks in the house no matter how hungry they say they are.

3. When doing home improvements your self and you want to stain something to give it an updated look....use paper towels to stain it. It's easier, will spread better, easier, and faster than using a paint brush. Then use paper towels to wipe the stain off again (one for each hand). Simple and Easy.

4. When painting a ceiling even if you can reach it without a ladder or stepstool, get an extended handle for the roller. Trust me it will save your back, shoulders and arms. (Here I need to take my own advice)

5. When painting and your kids no longer come to you begging to paint with you after 3 mins you need to put the paint brush down and go see. Otherwise they are up to something and you won't like the outcome of it at all.

6. Your 3 yr old is capable of doing the unthinkable stuff. They can climb on dressers and sit on the top and call for you to come get them down. They can find a paintbrush and help you paint and it will be where you don't want paint. They can also figure out how to work a camera too.

7. You can tell your child No 100,000 times at Grandma's house. However it will only take Grandma to say No once. It's the rule.

8. When your 3 old goes to bed at 9 and you want them to go to bed at 8 because they will be starting school in a week they will not go to sleep until 11. And they will sleep in the following morning just because they can. Just accept the 9 pm bedtime and be happy with it.

9. Even when you think your 3 yr old is sleeping and you say a bad word there is a good chance your 3 yr old will wake up just to repeat your bad word 30 times until falling to sleep for the night for real. And you will find this hilarious and you won't be able to stop laughing!

10. Your 7 year old is no longer a baby. They are coming into their own at this age. You are no longer raising a 7 year old. They are now 7 going on 16. I kid you not!!!!! And because of this the younger ones in the house will follow suit. This is not in the books so I will pass this on for others so they know what to expect when they have a 7 year old going on 16 of their own!

August 21, 2008

2008-08-24T12:56:00.004-04:00

Curtis lost a front tooth! I wish he would sit still long enough to get a small video of him talking because now he has a cute lisp going on. I thought it was cute the way he talked before with his speech delay.....this is even cuter! On this day we went to pick up some paint. On the way there he kept saying something and I could not figure it out. This is what I was hearing if I can get into words:
Acks: Axes? No mom.

enits: Dentist? NO!

onctes: Doctors? No (laughing) that's funny.

exes: taxes? No what is that? money we pay to the goverment on stuff we buy or own.

ttttttaz: Taz the cartoon character? NO who is that? He is in a cartoon. Oh no Mom

(insert frustration in a 7 yr old who is irritated with this mother, and developing attitude)
TTT eeee cccccc aaaaa ssssss (sounding out) Texas????

Yes Mom I wa o go ere o in nakes. With my mommy ears now in tune to the way my son is now talking I was able to figure out
He wants to go to Texas to find snakes. And not just any snakes Rattler snakes.
My heart skipped a few beats and then started racing.
No you can't go find rattler snakes. They will bite you and you could die from it. They are poisnous.
No mom I'm smarter and they can't bite me.
I passed out and came to when we got to the store.

No amount of chocolate or coffee has yet to get my heart back in my chest. And coffee still can not get my stomach out of throat. Though it may be due to the fact that he keeps talking about this every.single.day.

I'm feeling kinda lost

2008-08-20T10:12:00.002-04:00

Last summer I joined the online world. Being a stay at home mom became lonesome and I really needed a place to find other Moms though I had no clue if something like that even existed. I did some searching and found a website that was for Moms and was a place to connect. I joined right away but didn't really care for the place. So I did some more searching and found another place that was the same...a place for Moms to connect with other Moms. And that place changed my life!

Mayas Mom.
It became my outlet, I shared, I laughed so hard I almost peed myself many many occasions, I cried, I gave advice, I received it, i vented, they vented, it was just want a Mom needs when the going gets hard. I met so many ladies that quickly became my friends and still are to this day! And then a few days ago I log in to check in and see how my friends are doing and there is a yellow box at the top when I log in. On September 30 MM (as it's come to be known in this kick ass community) will be no longer. They have teamed up with another community and want us to join them.

I broke down and cried like a baby. Hubby thought something bad had happened. And when I told him that MM was closing I heard words I never thought the man could say. In a year's time he has never really understood my addiction to MM...until that moment.

"Honey I'm so sorry. Is there anything you can do? Get all of your friends emails, home addresses and phone numbers so you can stay in contact with them. I know how much they have ment to you."

Ok so who are you and what have you done with my husband? The man who would question me, or ask why I needed to turn on the computer every single day, the man who even threatened to take my internet cables to work with him just to see if I could go one day without MM? And then it dawned on me. After a year of me explaining how MM brighted my days and helped the days go easier and how the site had really awesome ladies there....he understood. Wow. Imgane that.

After realizing that most of my friends wer egoing over to the new place, i packed a small little bag and went over. And Hubby thought the computer died on me. The site refused to allow me to log in. He even tried to get me on the site. The man who barley does anything with the computer! My love for him has grown and I never thought it was possible! After a few days I finally on a whim uninstalled IE and reinstalled.
I got my haven back!
I'm in contact with most of my friends now.

And MM?
I'm staying in the ship. On september 29th I will log in and will drink coffee all day and all night until the lights go dark. And I will forever remember MayasMom.
And I will make the best out of the new home. As long as MMers are there I am too! I will do what I can to make it my home just as much as MM was.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for a wonderful year!! For the memories, for the laughs, the tears, the venting and there was alot of that, and for the friendships! You guys rock in my book. I won't lie I do have some anger though that anger really is not your fault. Who knew the big wigs were closing us down other than big wigs. With this I let go of the anger and will cherish everything that was MayasMom.

The weekend in review

2008-08-18T11:20:00.007-04:00

After breakfast this morning I kept hearing a plane but could not see it. I could tell it was flying low. I grabbed my camera and went outside for a few minutes and it finally showed itself. I did use zoom a little bit but he was just above the tree tops. I don't know why he was flying around my neck of the woods but he made several loops. I got more pics of the plane but this one here is the best of them.

And this is me. Hot and tired with my new hair cut and color. Just got done staining molding that is going up in the boys' new room. We won't be moving in as early as we had thought. Stuff was found to need work as work was being done. Windows need to be replaced, bathroom needs to be finished which is mostly the vanity just needs to be finished. That is being made by a friend. The kitchen floor needs to be redone including tiles,boys room needs the rest of the tiles, the wall to my computer room needs to be put back up, a closet in that room needs to be built (which will actually be for coats right by the entrance door, and a shelving unit will also be put into the computer room. There's more but that is all off the top of my head.
This is a rose bud growing on the rose bush that will one day be mine! When we are all moved in I will have to give it some TLC cause the bugs are getting at it but it's still really pretty!
And then there is a full bloom rose on the rose bush. The only one the bugs have not bothered...yet.

I hope you enjoyed these shots as much as I do!

If I have to shop one more time...

2008-08-16T04:00:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we decided to go to the city to do some school clothes shopping for the kids. I drove there. I made 2 mistakes that could have resulted in a crash but somehow didn't. The first one. Going 40 mph as the speed limit says. And since this town is a small city there is no shortage of red lights. One of those red lights turned yellow. Should I stop? Just as I think I'm too close to stop DH (in this case D stands for whatever word but dear) shouts Yes! Yes? Yes what? I brake. I stop. I barely stop where one should when stopping at a red light. I figured he was thinking that I was thinking I should stop. And he confirmed that for me. No he wanted me to keep going. Thankfully the car behind me was not riding my bumper when I stopped. And this was on the way to the city for the shopping. My second mistake. I make a left hand turn and just as I finish the turn the car in front of me suddenly stops to turn into a fast food joint. DH tells me to go around so I go around. Without looking over my shoulder. The road is a 4 lane highway. I cut a guy off.
I have this habbit of doing what he says when I'm driving. Which is good but I also need to remember to look when I should. I also need to stop second guessing myself and do what feels right. I also need to do drive more often in the cities and oversized towns so I can get enough hours in traffic racked up to take my road test. Because
If
I have to shop with Hubby again I might shoot someone. I'm sick to death of hearing:
Are you sure that is the right size?
What size?
Does that fit? Are you sure?
Is this the right size?
What about this size it cause looks right to me (and the size he holds up is what the kids have outgrown this year)
And my personal favorite: I don't care about the price as long as it makes the kids happy.
Price? We have a budget...sorta...and can't afford to spend $50 on a backpack for each child. Can't afford to spend $100 on a pair of shoes for each child either. When they get a job and have thier own money than they can pick out whatever they want and not worry so much about the price of one item is times 4.
So backpacks are in the house. 3 outfits per child is in the house. some supplies are in the house. Now all we have to do is get shoes, socks and the rest of the supplies. And so far we have only spent $170 on all the children. I'm good!
Well it's 4:21am i could not sleep but now i'm tired so i will see you all in a few hours.

When you least expect it.....

2008-08-15T07:45:00.005-04:00

Kids can change their eating habbits on you.....

Not that long ago Elizabeth from MomReviews held a contest for Envirokids cereal and I won that contest! It arrived in the mail the other day. The kids got to try Penguin Puffs and Leapin' Lemurs.
They loved the idea of the cereal coming to us in the mail and could not wait so Sam chose to have Penguin Puffs for lunch that day. They loved the penguins on the box and could not stop talking about it. When I served the cereal they said it was penguin food. I assured them that it was not. For the first time ever they sat at the table and ate quietly. I did not even know they were still in the house because they were so quiet. It's safe to say they loved this cereal and I plan to buy more for them!
The Leapin Lemurs kind they had the next for breakfast and they didn't like it. Gregory looked at it and walked away. Sam ate half and was done and curtis finished it off though he says he don't want to eat that one again.
If you have picky eaters like I do and you want them to eat healthy cereal for breakfast, Penguin Puffs is a good start! I'm shocked they ate it and loved it! I always say if my kids will eat it then just about every other kid out there will too!
All my thanks go out to Elizabeth!!!!

I also have to add in here that this morning they also ate healthy. I bought blueberry muffins for myself and didn't even get one cause they ate them! I have to admit with these out of the blue changes in their eating habbits is causing me to be really really scared. Why? Because they are going through growing spurts and are so hungry all the time they will even eat healthy foods just so they can eat something. In the past week they have also had apples, bananas and yogurt too. What's next? We shall see. I'm going shopping today and I'm going to pick up more fruits to have in the house and other healthy foods just to see what happens. I buy it for myself all the time though this is the first time since they were babies and eating baby foods that fruits have been a part of their diet!
I'm one happy Momma!

2008-08-14T10:19:00.002-04:00

The countdown as begun. In 2 weeks and a few days school starts back up. Sam will be going off to school for the first time. Hubby and I have talked about this just about every night and he has decided it's time for me to get a hobby. I told him I have one...this here blog and everything that goes with this here blog. And he told me it's good that I have this one but he wants me to pick up another one that does not involve the computer. He wants to me to make stuff with my hands. I'm not artistic at all. Sam can draw better than I can. And that is pretty sad. He had me look online to see if there is something out there that I want to pick up.
I have tried to learn how to crochet...failed.
I can sew but the sewing machine that was given to me I can't figure out how to use because it's really old. For some reason what I do know does not work with this model. My MIL plans to show me how to thread it and use it when we move.
Then I came across bead work. This looks like something I could do and could easily teach myself. Cause it can't be that hard now can it??
Here are some books I found and DH is going to order them for me. I thought I would share in case anyone else might be interested too!

Amazon.com Widgets

Cleaning product baby idea

2008-08-13T11:24:00.004-04:00

I hate cleaning. The easier it is for me to clean the happier I am. I used to use bleach water and a washcloth to scrub everything. Counter tops, floors, the table, the sinks even the walls if they were not painted. Sometimes I would even use paper towels if it was a small job. DH griped about the handful of washcloths that were strictly for my cleaning. SO I went to paper towels full time. Bleach water and paper towels do not mix period. I tried several different kinds of cleaning products that come in spray bottles....always complaining how I can get everything cleaner, brighter and/or whiter with bleach. Even the product that is bleach didn't do anything for me. And then one cleaning product combined with another. It went from smelling like a cleaning product to smelling pretty darn good. Mr. Clean with Febreeze is now what I use. And paper towels are out with the bleach cause I use that with the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. I have used the erasers until they have fallen apart in my hand. Not only does everything get as clean as I like when I do clean...but it makes my house smell oh so nice!

Though I have outgrown my need to clean my floors on my hands and knees using a washcloth. Those days are gone. I use the Swifter Sweeper. My knees are no longer killing me after mopping. And my back is so much happier not having to lug around a bucket and I don't have to keep telling the kids to stay away from the bucket or dumping out said bucket to find toys the boys oh so nicley dropped in.

But do you know what would totally make me one happy mama while cleaning?? If swifter and mr. clean would get married and have a baby. The baby would be the Mr. Clean with febreeze as the cleaning solution used in the swifter mop. I'm forever spraying tough spots on the floor with Mr. Clean as I mop my floor. Sure there is the edge of the sweeper that is for scrubbing but it don't quite does the job without the Mr. Clean.

So please for the love of chocolate marry these two already so they can have the baby so my cleaning is easier and faster! I would even pay in chocolate to have this done sooner than later! Now I have to go do my floors because Gregory's teacher is comeing right after he gets off the bus! With everything else done this is all I have to do!

Note:
I did not get paid for this. I did this all on my own because I despise cleaning and have found products that I love to use while cleaning and makes the job easier. While cleaning I came up with this idea and wanted to share it hoping that maybe just maybe the product owners would read my plea and make my idea a reality. And I barley talked about the kids which means I revealed more about myself. Again no payment in chocolate coffee or money brought this post on!

Improvements

2008-08-12T10:00:00.002-04:00

In the past few weeks despite the issue with cleaning up toys the kids are making improvements...mostly with Sam though.

There was a time when Gregory got over his fear of strangers and started talking to anyone who will listen. My talks about stranger danger seems to have sunk in. He is no longer telling the cashiers or anyone else in a store everything there is to know about what we are doing that day, where we have been, who is driving and what we are buying and why! This is huge! I feared for the longest time anyone could walk up to him to ask for help to find a missing puppy and he would go. Now he puts his head down and won't even look at people in stores. Will have to work on a happy medium but for now I'm pleased! Now if I can just get Curtis to follow suit. Though Gregory keeps after Curtis about this. He tells Curtis to stop talking cause Mommy says.

Curtis sensory seeking is at an all time low. It's wierd to see him sitting on the couch reading a big pile of books! I'm thinking the books are giving him another kind of imput. No I'm not complaining about this one...I'm soaking it all up and enjoying the rare peace in the house!!!!!! He has picked up a love for reading and for that I'm grateful and Daddy is beaming with pride as reading is not something he can do well and has always wanted the boys to read better than he is! He is even basking in reading time with the boys cause Curtis is reading to daddy! Can't get any better than that!

Sam is picking up words and using fragmented sentences!!!!! Mommy hungry, Mommy Mickey Mouse, Mommy thirsty, Mommy nuggets, Mommy where daddy? And the ABC's too
A
B
C
M
S
M
M
M
S
A
Z
And numbers when he is counting something anything
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
1
5
8
Yes he sure can get to 7 without a mistake. He is trying his hardest to get to 10 but he loses his place after 7. Though sometimes in the middle of play he will bellow out 8 9 10 and then Mommy count. So we work together to count.
He also says Daddy, Curis, Geoiy and Ganma Ganpa when before everyone under the sun was mommy.
I'm proud shocked awed amazed what he is picking up.
Though I have a confession.
Some of what he is learning he is not learning from me. Nope.
Instead it's Mickey Mouse, Little Einsteins...you know what put your TV on the disney channel starting at 8am and you will find the shows he is learning from.
Again my children proove that TV can help children learn and not as bad as experts want us to believe!!!
This is how the boys in this house have learned the basics. Stuff for whatever reason I can't teach them on my own but with the help of the TV I can teach them.
Go ahead tell me it's bad cause I have proof it's not!

Sharing the love!

2008-08-11T10:45:00.004-04:00

Eeyore from Just Another Mommy Blog gave me this:

I'm so excited about this that I don't even know what to say! It's taken me a full day to get this number up on my blog in a post and yet I'm speechless.

Choose 5 other bloggers that you feel are “Kick Ass Bloggers”
Let them know that they have received an award
Link back to both the person who awarded you and also http://www.mammadawg.com/
Visit the Kick Ass Blogger Club HQ , to get codes click here and it will take you to KABC HQ, sign Mr. Linky then pass it on!

So I have to pick 5 others to share the love:

1. Table for five

2. Chicken and Cheese

3. Another Piece of the Puzzle

4. Robin's Woods

5. Maternal Spark

Congrats to you all!

I'm so mean!!

2008-08-10T10:01:00.005-04:00

There are times when I totally love living in my very small townette. It's not a town, it's not a village. It's mostly farm country out here unless you live on the main drag where I'm at. No stores. No mailmans to deliver the mail. And there are times when I despise living in such a little place that there are hardly any kids in the area. My kids are the youngest in this little stretch. And the neighbors really need to learn to mind their own business because they are so damn nosey it's driving me crazy and the state troopers as well. I'm sure of it.

Since summer vacation first started back in June they have yet to clean their room. They do go to summer school half days as well. Yet they have refused to clean their room. I had it yesterday. Told them after breakfast they had until 8pm to get the toys picked up. the papers, the books and the dirty clothes downstairs so I could wash them up. I told them if I had to go up there and do it myself they would not like it. They would lose whatever was on the floor. End of story. I sent them up many times through out the day to clean their room. After dinner I told them it was 6pm and they had 2 hours to get it done. Otherwise I would come up there and everything on the floor would become mine. The toy box would be locked and turned around. The books would be packed in a box. Until they learn to clean their room when told. 7:30 I go up and they are horseplaying, have Sam's toddler bed apart (they took the side rails off the bed and the mattress), pillows and blankets all over the floor and not one toy that I could tell was placed in the toy box. I set the timer and told them they now had a half hour. Told them if they were at least cleaning it up when the timer went off I would help. If I found them playing I would take everything away. I go up every ten minutes to find them playing. I gave warning every time. Timer goes off. I go up and they are jumping off the top bunk onto the floor. Thankfully Sam was jumping off the bottom bunk. I come downstairs get garbage bags. I go up and start {throwing out} bagging up the toys. One thought that I was putting Curtis in a boiling pot of water, or plucking his hairs out one by one or actually thought he was dieing. Cause 15 mins into this a state boy shows up on my doorstep. Curtis was having a meltdown. He did not want to clean his room so I did what I told him I would do. He called my bluff and I did what I said I was going to do. State boy asked what was going on cause of course when he pulled up he heard the screaming. I explained. He asked to see the kids since they were still upstairs. I called the kids down. Curtis still crying. Gregory told the state boy what I was doing up there. He told me to do what I got to do and carry on! And said he was sorry for coming out here but he has to investigate calls of suspected child abuse.
I can count on one hand how many of the state boys have been to my house. I'm getting pretty fed up with it. Can't they make note that if they are called out to my house that I'm parenting and the neighbors are just not understanding Curtis' need to scream his head off cause he does not what me to take his toys away because he won't pick them up. I'm thinking of putting up a note to all who live here next door at the post office that says "Do you hear my kids screaming? Get the ear plugs because I'm parenting my children. Teaching them I will do what I say I will do. I tend to take toys away when they don't clean them up. I don't abuse them. If you think otherwise come spend a day at my house. Be thankful I'm teaching them lessons like this and I'm actually doing my job as Mom. There is no need to call the cops everytime I make a parenting decision cause time is being wasted for them to come out here to find no abuse going on"
Or something like that. I need to work on it though cause I'm going to put it up. I sure can't wait till we can move out of here. I know my inlaws will come over and ask before jumping the gun! And I also know Grandma would get a kick of the kids screaming over lossed toys when they didn't pick them up. In fact she gave the idea to me and backs me up everytime I have to do this!

Four things you should know about me before you invite me into your home

2008-08-09T10:17:00.004-04:00

Jamie is the reason for this so let's hop to it:

1. You may make whatever you want to for dinner. However if there are peas, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes in the food please don't be upset when you see them still sitting my plate. I don't like said foods however I have learned to pick them out of foods. In fact there is a running joke with my inlaws about me and peas. Though we will save that for another day.

2. When it's time to clean up even if you don't want my help I will help. I have cleaning up alone and hate doing it at my house but I always help clean up when I'm at someone's house. I don't feel right if I don't help. So take my help.

3. I'm quiet for the most part. But if a subject comes up that I happen to have thoughts on I will talk and talk and talk.....

4. And my kids. My kids are not angels in any way shape for form. They have moments when they can behave themselves. I do the best I can when I'm out with them not be the mom who is yelling and screaming at her kids. Sometimes though I have to. And then there are times when all it takes for the host is to say No more running and they will stop. They tend to listen way better to anyone else. Don't get me wrong though they can be fun to have around.

Am I really ready for this???

2008-08-07T10:16:00.002-04:00

In exactly 28 days Mr. Sam is going to be getting up to eat breakfast, take a bath, get dressed in brand new clothes, putting a backpack on, waiting for the bus and actually getting on that bus. That bus will take him to school for the very first time.
If there was ever a time when I wish I had a magic wand to hold time still that time is now. (Though I wish I had it when the older kids were doing the same thing too!)
I want the next 28 days to stop. I want them to take their sweet time to get here because this will be the very last time I will see a child of mine going off to school for the first time.

With my daughter she gave me a hug and got on the bus and that was that. She sat on the other side of the bus so she could see her Mommy jumping up and down and waving with smiles and tears.

With Curtis he was way too excited to stop and give me a hug before getting on the bus! The bus came, I squatted down to give him a hug and he ran and got on the bus before I knew what happened.

With Gregory he was excited yet timid. He gave me a big long hug and I had to tell him it was time for him to get on the bus because it's waiting and so is his teacher. I would get daily phone calls to come over and hang out with him because he was crying for me. Due to his shyness and seperation anxiety it was harder for him to leave me. So my routine was to walk to the school pregnant with Sam for a good portion of the school year.

And now I sit and wonder how it's going to go with Sam. I have no doubt he will be excited. I have no doubt that he will get on the bus before I get a hug. But then what? What happens when he gets on that bus? I won't be able to walk to the school like I was before. This time around I wear my heart in my throat. With the others it was a whirlwind. I didn't have the time to stop and think like I do now. Frankly I wish I didn't have that time to think. It's making me want to stop all time just so I can soak up all the toddler still left in Sam.

Then again. I want the hardships of this summer with Sam to be over. I want his therapies to start. I want him to be off learning and making friends. I want him to get interested again in potty training. I want him to fly not sit here with me watching Mickey Mouse, writing on the walls and climbing on the dresser or begging me to write his name for him over and over and over and over. Yet refuses to let me do hand over hand so he can learn the feel of each letter. Doodling, coloring or drawing time in this house is me doing it for him. I will miss this greatly.

I did not know with the others how conflicting it can be to have a child go off to school for the first time. Then we had 2 weeks to get school clothes and supplies. And all the paperwork signed and returned, meetings to attend, a tour of the school to do all in 14 days. Is there not a happy medium?? Soon I will be getting the paperwork in the mail and will have time to fill it out and mail it back cause there will be time for that. School clothes are being purchased a little here and a little there to make it easier. And a tour of the school for Sam will also happen yet I have time to sit and ponder what day will be best for Sam. Not too early that he will think it's going to happen now. Or too late either.

Upon reading what I have just typed out I realize that I rambled. So I will stop here.

28 days and counting.

A mom who wants the magic wand to stop time for at least a day. Is that too much to ask for?

Free

2008-08-04T10:28:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was a breath of fresh air around here. Hubby had me take the car alone to town to put gas in it. To be alone in a car is the most amazing feeling. I felt free. If you are used to being able to just take the car and go you may not realize how freeing it is. I got the gas station paid for gas, pumped the gas and drove back home. Hubby is lucky he had to work cause let me tell you if he did have to work I don't think I would have come back home so quick. I got a taste and I want more. I wanted to into the store and get a feel of what it's like to be alone. Actually alone. Sure I have gone into a store before without hubby or the kids but the thing is that they are always out in the car waiting for me to rush in and out. What would it really be like to take myself to the store and do my thing in the store without Hubby asking if we are done yet, without the kids crying because I won't buy them the latest newest $1oo toy. Who has that kind of money anways? Not to mention I would not be able to buy just one but 4.
I'm not quite there yet but soon. My goal is to have a car of my own before next summer. And I have goals I want to complete next summer. I want to take the kids to the zoo, camping, to the glass museum, to the science museum, and any other place I happen to think of to do with them.
In the meantime I need to practice my backing up. Sure I can do it but I need to get more dead on. I also need to get more comfortable with driving in towns. Again I can do that but I'm still iffy to do so alone. Weird I know. But I think it has alot to do with the fact that I'm not a teenager. I'm older and I'm a Mom and I want to be as careful as I can be. This also stems from the few accidents I have been involved in my lifetime. Even if I was a passenger. I don't want my kids to ever have to feel that fear. Though I know I can't prevent it from happening because it's out of my control but it's in my control when I'm behind the wheel.
I got a taste of freedom and now I'm ready for more! Bring it on!

For The Love of Chocolate.....Stop!

2008-08-02T18:32:00.002-04:00

Somewhere, someone in my neck of the universe has given a few colleges and other places the wrong phone number and that phone number happens to be mine! For the last 7 days when I answer my phone it goes like this:

Me: Hello?
salesperson: May I please speak with Benniffer?* This is George from a certain online college.
me: I'm sorry but no one here with the name Benniffer lives here and never has.
salesperson: Do you know when Beniffer will be in?
me: You have the wrong number. No such person in this house has that name!!!!
salesperson: Let me give you the number and then you tell me if I dialed wrong...it's 555-555-5555
(of course all the fives are the ones that come into my house)
me: yes that is my number my name is MomTo4KidsNy**. No one here has the name Beniffer so you need to loose MY number before I turn you in! If your number shows up on my caller id I will file a harrasement charge against you because I can legally proove that no one at this phone number is named Benniffer.
salesperson: I'm sorry I bothered you and I will take your number out of our system.
me: Good! *click*

And one would think George got the clue. Well in truth George got the clue. However George's coworkers Barb, Linda, Ken, Barbie, G.I. Joe still call my house looking for Bennifer. However the phone number on my caller ID keeps changing. And I'm logging every single number that calls my house looking for Bennifer.

And since I started to write this post I have had this exact same conversation 6 times with six diffrent people from the same damn place! I now have my phone on Do Not Disturb! So go ahead and try to call again because you will get my voicemail and which case you will not be able to leave a message because I turned off the option to leave a message!

*I changed the name to protect the innocent ones who might have the same name but is not the one who gave out my number.
** I used my blog name here just because I used my FULL name....first, middle and last name on the phone and I'm not going to do THAT here.
*** I also made up the names of those calling me because when they said their name I blocked it out.

I find it wierd that someone pulled a bunch of numbers out of the air for a phone number and they happen to be mine. Too bad I don't know a Bennifer.

****I was about to click on publish post when my caller id started flashing. I picked up the phone and the boys are fighting over who gets to talk to SpiderMan******* Yea I'm evil like that:)

A few of my Favorite Things

2008-07-31T21:41:00.003-04:00

Trish over at Another Piece of the Puzzle tagged me to share my favorite things and then tag 5 bloggers to do the same!
So here goes:

1. I love blogging. It gives me an outlet and I also get to meet so many other people and realize that I'm not alone.

2. Books. I used to sit and read a book and have it finished in a day or less sometimes if it's a really good book. It's something I need to start making time for but that would mean less time in the blogoshere.

3. Music. It helps me to relax and unwind. The kids have learned if I'm sitting with my iPod to leave me alone for a few minutes otherwise they could find themselves taped to the wall with duct tape. Just recently I purchased a game for my iPod (Phase) and that takes my music to another level.

4. I was not going to mention it because by now everyone should know but I just.can't.stop.myself. I love chocolate! There I said it once again and now I think I need therapy to deal with this addiction.

5. I love how Sam wakes me up every morning. He sneaks in the room up on the bed then yells in my ear "Sleep" over and over and over again. I peak at him and he shouts Wake! Sometimes he even shakes me. It feels so normal to wake up every morning giggling with him. And then we race downstairs laughing.

I'm going to tag: 5 of my readers. I have been drinking a little bit tonight and can't even think of one person to tag so I will do this in the morning:)

No more flowers

2008-07-31T16:48:00.002-04:00

Ok folks I have looked at the flowers long enough. I don't even want to come to my blog so I can only imagine that my readers don't want to as well. So I have painstakingly searched and searched and searched for a new look. I even found a few that I liked however my computer hated downloading the code needed. But have no fear I have found something new. It's brown which is the only color that really goes well with my place but it's diffrent. So give me about 20 mins and I shall have yet another new look and this time I like it and it's free of flowers. Woot!

The one and only update:
I'm done now:) And I promise I won't change it again in very near future!

A poll

2008-07-30T20:48:00.001-04:00

I added a pole to the sidebar to get some feedback. If you saw the old look then I ask you to answer the poll. I'm not sure if I like this one at all yet and want to know what you all think! It will be open until 8/6/08. I'm open to all feedback!
Thanks guys!

FYI to all

2008-07-30T10:12:00.006-04:00

Ok I have had this theme for awhile now. I have changed colors around more time than I can count. I'm currently tired of looking at this template. And until I have the money to pay someone to make me a new design....I have found another template I want to give a try. I really should do this later at night however at night I'm in bed sleeping. So you if you come here and you don't see anything in my sidebars...it's because I'm in the process of adding the new look. Please be patient with me while I do this.
Thanks!
See ya on the other side and hopefully everything will be as it should be!

Update:

New look is now in place and now working on my sidebars and a few other things as well!
Thanks!

Update number 2:
According to my notes I have everything as it should be now! Though I have to admit I feel like something is missing. Also the feel of the blog seems off to me and I'm not sure why.
What do you all readers think? Will give it some time and see what happens!

Update number 3:
Sorry about all the updates here but figured it's easier than doing another post. I'm working on the page settings. I have figured out how to rename them but can't figure out how to add anything to them yet. If you have any tips for doing so I would be thankful! In the meantime I have to stop working on this and go do some dishes before we head out for our weekly out of the house day trip. I will do more tonight or tomarrow!
Thank you all for being patient!

It's not easy to please 3

2008-07-29T10:08:00.003-04:00

Yesterday the boys and I went up to Grandma's house (MiL) to pain the boys soon to be room in the place. I'm a fan of home improvement shows shown on HGTV and sometimes TLC. And I have to tell you a secret...what they don't show or tell you is that when they are painting a room it's not easy and painless. It's not at all. The clips of someone on a ladder happily paiting I swear on my choclate stash they are not happy. Do you know what they are thinking? I do and it goes something like this: Will I be able to move in the morning?? How many motrins is it going to take so I can get out of bed? What was I thinking to paint a room much less paint the ceiling as well? And if I ever even so much as think as painting a room again slap me upside my head with a paint brush and then find a local painter do it for me. Because I will never again do this. I kid you not people. And I have answers to the questions too. It will take 4 motrins to get out bed however the muscles will continue to be stiff and going down steps is easier if you slide down them because you can't move at all. I was thinking the boys would love to have their room a bright blue because it's better than white. And the ceiling needed to be painted to brighten up the white and to break up all the blue on the walls. And I thought for sure it would be fun. I wish I had pictures to share with you but upon packing up the diaper back I forgot the camera.
And I learned something else too. Even though you thought for sure that 3 boys would be happy with the color blue they will change their minds after 3 of the walls have been painted blue. One wants green and the jungle on the walls, one will want yellow with BumbleBee and one will want orange because that is the only color the boy knows how to say! Sure there are enough rooms in the new place for each boy to have his own room just the way they want it they won't have it. They want to stay together.
So what am I going to do? I'm not going to repaint any of the walls to give them each a wall with the color of their choice that's for sure. However I am going to buy decals and posters that contain what they each want and hang them on the walls. So much easier and a less work! And when it's all said and done I believe they will either like the room or they will have to live with it until they are older and begging to have thier own room once and for all. Then we will paint using the colors they want.
The next time we go up I will make sure to bring the camera to share my hard labor!

Summer Break 2008 report

2008-07-25T23:04:00.005-04:00

Curtis is currently in the preteen mode and the worst part is he is only 7. He has found his voice and his words and he is so not afraid to use either. I never thought this would start so early and I'm having trouble keeping up. We gave the boys haircuts. Curtis did not want his cut even though I think it's time. He has thick hair just as I do and the summer heat gets to you pretty quick. He has learned the word No as in he is trying his absolute hardest to tell me no. This morning I told him he needs to pick up his room because every single toy the boys own sits on the floor. Of course I also told Sam and Gregory too....and they went right upstairs to do as they were told. Curtis however said No Mom it's boring. WTF? Where did that come from?? Never in his life did I ever think I would hear him claim something to be boring because he is always on the move and always using his imagination to make the boring things (cleaning) fun for himself. Always well until today. He also wants to pick when he will take his shower, when he goes to bed, what he will wear and to be frank here....I don't want to be on this ride right now. It's too early. I figured I had another 3 years before we hit this stage. Boy do I have some learning to do. Bedtime is the one that I really have an issue with. The rest I deal with as they come up. Bedtime though is the biggy. Yes I know it's summer and they should be able to stay up late. Howver they go to summer school. So they don't get that privalege unless it's Friday and Saturday night. Every other night 9pm is bedtime. Gregory goes up when it's time and Sam will gather his blanket and pillow and crash on the couch sitting with either me or daddy. Curtis on the other hand will spend most the night coming back down saying he is not tired and not going to bed. This used to be so easy. And what scares me the most?? This is only the beginning.

Gregory is also finding his voice and learning how to use it. Though in a diffrent way. He is finally telling his brothers No and to stop and all the good things he should be doing. He is finally coming out of his shell. His head is no longer down on his chest or melting to the floor when something happens. He is using his words!!!! It's so great to see him doing this! He really is making great strides and I hope he keeps them for when school starts back up in September! I really don't have much to report on Gregory as he is doing so well!!!

Sam. Mr. Sam is giving me a run for my money that's for sure. He is back to hitting and now adding kicking into the mix as well. Time outs are not working. I do spank but I don't spank when he has hit or kicked as this will send the wrong message to him. I have removed him or myself or his brothers from the situation and still I get nowhere. Do they have anger management for 3 yr olds??? If not I think they should. He is increasing his vocab but it's not enough for him to express himself or tell what his true wants or needs are. I do know this...when he hits or kicks it's upset about something. He also throws toys. I have taken every single toy away that he has thrown and my pile is almost as big as the pile of toys in the boys' room. I keep telling myself come september he will be in school and we should see improvements then. However that's then and this is now. I'm struggling to find something that will work in the here and now but I keep hitting a brick wall. I'm still doing home therapies with him that I learned to do with Curtis and Gregory. However it is so clear to me that what Sam needs is so diffrent from what they need that it's not helping in the long term and that is what we need to be reaching. I can't wait to talk to his teacher about our summer with him because I have a gut feeling that this will be the only summer that Sam is left with no services of any kind. And that alone is a bright sun in the darkness.

Sam and the stroller Part 1

2008-07-24T10:06:00.005-04:00

Sam loves his new stroller. It's just too bad though that mother nature and the weather can't be on the same page. Weather man is the one who is not doing his job right. Either it's going to rain or it's not going to rain. Don't tell me that tonight after 5 we will have a chance of rain but the sun will be out all day. Do you know what happens? I go out for a walk and have to rush back to the house because of the rain. I don't know who is laughing more. The weather man for being wrong or Mother Nature by making him wrong and raining on my walks just for the fun of it.
Though we did get to walk yesterday while it was raining by going to the mall and a few other stores just so I could use the stroller in the manner it's made for.

As I write do you know where Sam is?

A. Sam is on the couch watching his morning cartoons since we can't go walking due to the chance of rain.
B. Sam is sitting in the stroller watching his cartoons since we can't go out walking.
C. Sam is tired from all the non walking we are doing he is taking an early nap.

If only I had a laptop

2008-07-22T08:56:00.003-04:00

Yesterday after the kids got home from school (they are in summer school) I started suffering from pain in my belly on the left side under my rib cage. I took some motrin hoping it would go away. It felt like someone was kicking me in the gut. I was able to deal with the pain for the most part until after dinner. I ended up on the couch unable to move because each time I moved the pain would sear through my body. The kids all thought this was funny...mostly Sam though. No not because I was in pain but because I could not get up off the couch no matter what he did. And Sam tested me and my pain tolerance to the max. He would come up give me a hug so he could grab the remote from me and then run away with it. Then come back stand just out of my way and turn the channel. The whole time laughing and teasing me Na Na Boo Boo Na na bo boo. Another one he tried to do was stand out of my reach and throw a car at me. I warned him after the first time because when I tried to sit up the pain would get worse...felt like I was being cut from the inside out with a double edged sword. He looked at me smiled and put his hands up to his cheeks to further tease me. He tried to run from me but instead came at me so I was able to grab his arm and gave him a swat on his rear and told him not to throw things. Yep that's right I spank when I feel it's needed. He got up and ran back upstairs teasing me somemore. Na na boo boo na na boo boo. When hubby got home I took more motrin and went to lay in bed for awhile hoping it would help. All it did was send me to the ER for the pain because there was no way I would be able to deal with it anymore.
Of course I forgot my iPod at home since it was dead. I had planned to charge it up all day but just never got around to it. I had to listen to someone complain on her cell phone how bad her back was hurting from an injury she got last month. If there was ever a time I wish I had a laptop it was last night in the ER. I had stories running through my head the whole time until I got a dose of Morphene. The doctor didn't realize how bad the pain was for me until he asked me to sit up so he could listen to my chest. Body language spoke for itself and he replied "It hurts that bad?? Get her some Morphene. Could you be pregnant? Nope because for the 100th time in the last hour I have told the nurses and you when you first came in I had my tubes tied when you asked if I had any surgeries in the last 10 years. I told you I had to c sections and with the last c section I had my tubes tied. They still took a pregnancy test to be safe and it came back negative. I got the morphene 1 hour and 10 mins after it was ordered.
After peeing in a cup, some blood work and a cat scan they still don't know the real cause of my pain. They know 1. I'm in alot of pain more than they thought I was in 2. My white blood cell count is through the roof. 3. I have a nice size cyst on my right ovary (note pain on the left) and 3. I have a cyst growing on my adominal wall on the left, lower than where the pain is. I have antibiotics to take. I'm still feeling the effects of morphine. And I have some vicadin (sp?) to help with the pain until I see my doctor tomarrow for further testing. The left cyst has the ER doctor worried. At last though he can't do any further testing to figure out what it. 6 hours later I was able to come back home.

Posh Mama

2008-07-21T13:47:00.001-04:00

Being a Mom on of the hardest things for me to do is take time for myself. Sure I have this blog and other parenting sites that I'm a part of. But when I really want to be doing something for I turn to Posh Mama. There's a true sense of Mom community as Mom's are there to get the lastest tips and support as a woman and not just a mom.
Posh Mama Online Magazine and Social Network is a positive and upbeat community made up of women from around the world. You will feel immediately welcomed as it is the sweetest spot on the 'net. Come hang out, network and make some great friends at www.poshmama.com.

Turnip of Power

2008-07-21T10:04:00.003-04:00

In the last few days I have found a really good informative blog about blogging. Turnip of Power writes very helpful blog posts even though most of them are for wordpress. Remember when I moved over there only to return here? I so wish I had ran across his blog before I moved back here because it would have saved me alot of time and headaches too. If your running wordpress he is the go to guy for help! I have also added him to my blog roll too! This is not as good as I had hoped this morning. Sorry about that. Though this is what happens when you have a few beers to relax and unwind after a stresful day.
Publish Post

What the kids have been doing

2008-07-19T11:55:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago we went to a family picnic at the inlaws. The kids found a whole bunch of apples and Sam took the time out to line them up and then got a hold of my camera. Upon my surprise he got this shot:

Later after dinner we did an easy way to roast marshmallows for smores. Though we cheated and used chocolate covered graham crackers. The kids had fun roasting but didn't care to eat them.

Curtis and Gregory helping Grandpa move a branch:

Sam all dressed up and no place to go expect for the bathtub. This is somewhat my fault. I ran out of fuel...no caffine of any kind to be found in the house and no chocolate either. This is what happens....I fall asleep and the kids get into things. Don't worry I was only gone to the world for a half hour:

My bedroom door. It has artwork on it that got there while Sam was getting all dolled up..he had help too! And the piece of wood that is screwed into the door? I put that there to keep the boys out of my room. I found a nick nack of mine that was in a box in the closet broken.

They can't get in anymore during the daytime. And since no one is on the other side of the door it's not a fire hazard either! My biggest summer time problem is now solved all because I ran out fuel.

Another Note to my readers

2008-07-18T08:37:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I posted this and a few of you asked some important questions so I thought it my duty to bring answers to you.
On the EC Blog I read that you earn credits for all comments you leave. The community as a whole rates the comments. Including the blog owner. So you also earn credits based on the ratings. The ratings also help to find the spam comments from the good ones. Though I have decieded to moderate my comments to try to prevent spam from coming through anyways. And I have noticed that even if a comment is already rated by someone else you are still able to rate them too! I hope this helps to clear it up.
I will now go back to my regular scheduled blogging!

ABC's of Me

2008-07-18T05:45:00.000-04:00

Jolene from My Absent Mind tagged her first 5 readers..since I was number 3 I considered myself tagged! I have not done a meme in awhile so I thought it would be fun! Here goes:

A. Attached or Single? Attached
B. Best Friend? My husband's cousin
C. Cake or pie? cake
D. Day of choice? Wendesday because it's Hubby's Day off right now
E. Essential
item? Coffee, chocolate F. Favorite color? Purple
G. Gummy bears or worms? bears
H. Home town? Roulette
F. Favorite indulgence? reading
J. January or July? July K. Kids? 4
L. Life isn’t complete without? coffee, sex and chocolate
M. Marriage date? September 1, 2001 N. Number of brothers and sisters? 1 of each
O. Oranges or Apples? apples
P. Phobias? too many to list
Q. Quotes? Life gives you lemons make lemonade though it won't be easy
R. Reasons to smile? everyday moments that happen in life
S. Season of choice? Summer
T. Tag 5 people: First 5 people to read this LOL (as it's the easiest thing to do)
U. Unknown fact about me? Have I left any rocks unturned in my blog?? Hmm. *tapping keyboard* I grew up in PA but I consider the Finger Lakes in NY my home now and I could never leave them...ever. And I can't get lost as long as I know where in the world Seneca Lake is. Guess I did leave a rock unturned!
V. Vegetable? corn on the cob or green beans. too hard to pick one.
W. Worst habit? biting my nails. It's been a habbit since I was little and I still can't break it.
X. X-ray or Ultrasound?countless ultrasounds. with 4 kids I have had twice as many. And a few xrays too.
Y. Your favorite food? I would say chocolate here but I know you all know that it's chocolate so I'm going to say Grilled Chicken with Roasted Red Pepper Italian Salad Dressing. It's to die for!
Z. Zodiac sign? Sagittarius.
Z. Which zoo animal is your favorite? Monkeys because they are the cutest!

Entrecard steals the heart of the blogosphere

2008-07-17T14:09:00.002-04:00

I'm a member of Entrecard. And recently they teamed up with SezWho. This is what Entrecard has to say about the team up:
"Commenting is the second most important thing for you to do after writing quality posts. Here’s a saying to live by, and you can quote me: “Comment or get out of the Blogosphere” -for it is on other blogs that you plant a first impression and the seeds of a reputation. It is precisely through your comments that you interest others to visit your blog. How do you reach a blogger’s heart and the heart of their audience? Comment on their blog, and do it well!" Graham on the Entracard Blog.

And you know what? This is the truth. No one can really find out who you are and what you are if you don't leave comments. In fact that is how I have gained my readers...by getting out there and commenting and the blog owners coming over to find out more about me. Entrecard is all about leaving your card on blogs you visit and discover you like. And in return they come over to see you and return the drop. Now with SezWho you leave good quality comments and you will get noticed for the comments! Just visiting a blog is not going to do anything. Visiting and commenting together is what does that! I highly recemmend becoming a part of EC and then a part of SW to get the best of both worlds!
Together they make a great team and I look foward to seeing through!

A note to my readers...

2008-07-17T11:08:00.001-04:00

I joined up with SezWho through Entrecard on the first day it was available. It took me until last night to get Sezwho installed on my blog. I was out yesterday so as soon as I got home I checked my email and sure enough I finally got the code I needed to install it on the blog.
I do see that my posts can be rated. I also see that I can't rate your comments. It may take longer...I'm not sure. I have a support question and waiting for answers. In the mean time I don't want you think that I'm not rating comments. As soon as I can I will do so! Hopefully this will be resolved soon!

How Retail Therapy Saved Me From The Nuthouse

2008-07-17T08:41:00.003-04:00

I made it through the last few days. Yesterday I was able to get out of the house. And I drove. Being a new driver this is a huge deal at least for me! I'm getting better at driving in cities. Though other drivers really need to pay attention! If not for me being careful and paying attention I would have been in quite a few accidents....all of which would not have been my fault. Quite a few pulled out in front of me and I had to slam on the breaks and the horn to avoid hitting 3 different cars. We went to the lake and had a picnic lunch. The kids were not too happy when they found out they had to wait before going swimming because they just ate. Though the playground distracted them! I got to talk to a Mom at the playground. One of her children is going to the same preschool the boys did and the one I tried really hard to get Sam into. And they just moved here 3 weeks ago. Inside I was a little piffed about this. But then I reminded myself that I did all I could do for Sam. It was his OT who failed Sam not me. We had a nice long conversation about the school, teachers and our kids. And the boys?? They actually allowed me to stand there and talk with her. No interruptions. Nothing. They just played! It was heaven. It really did them good to get out of the house and out of the backyard!
We made into the water. Sam ran all the way from the playground to the water which is a good distance away. He even walked into the water until the water got to his knees. He was done. I picked him up and carried him out and squated in the water. The water touched Sam's big toe and he freaked. "Don't want it. NO! Can't" He clung harder to me and choked me. Curtis and Gregory were fishies in the water! They loved it and had no problems. Though at one time they too did this. I continued to try to get Sam wet. Each time I would be strangled and he would claim he didn't want it. So DH and I passed Sam back and forth. We took turns playing with the boys and holding Sam. I noticed Sam was more content with Daddy though. He actually would splash in the water and swim in his own little way! I wanted pictures. The whole time though my camera sat in my purse untouched. When it was time to leave I noticed my swimsuit that I bought last year which was a little tight but not too tight to make unbearable for those around me to see me in.....was now too big for me. Too big for me to be wearing in out of the water.
The next leg of our journey was retail therapy. I *thought* the kids would be good as they had a few hours of play time and about an hour or so in the water. DH wanted me to get a new swimsuit. I was thinking a one piece. He wanted me to get a 2 peice. I don't understand how a man would even consider craming my body into strings with small pieces of cloth that would not even begin to hide anything to anyone's imagination. Thank God the first store we went to had nothing even close to my size. The second store did though. However I picked out a nice tankini in black. With a bottom that has a little skirt attached to it. I have heard tankini's are out. However I had to find a compromise for hubby. He wanted a 2 piece and I wanted a one piece. Tankinin's bring the best of both worlds together in one. I get to be covered up the way I want to and hubby gets the two pieces he wants. The kids were horrible. Sam refused to sit in the cart. Refused to hold hands or even stay with the group. I had the child in the store that people stare at and whisper about. I got the idea that I wanted a new stroller for Sam. One that he would fit in...legs and head all in the stroller not hanging out because he is too big. This way Sam and I could go for walks and I could loose a few more pounds. Jogging stroller is what I wanted. That store did not have what I wanted. I also walked out of there with a new black dress!
Store number 3 had what I wanted. Yet hubby was not too happy with the price. Sam had his monkey on and he either refused to walk or would walk yet dragging my behind him as he runs. Not a pretty site. Store number three was the mall. Which had this idea to host their own Local Idol comp. At the mall. Where I was trying to relax. Not a good mix. The singers had no idea how to sing. It was like being forced to watch all the bad acts on American Idol...those that don't make it yet are played anyways. By the time we left there I was ready to claw my eyes out.
And our last store not only had what I was looking for but also had it at a price hubby was willing to pay for! Yay!!!!!! So now I have to figure out a good walking schedule. However right now Sam is waiting for me as he wants to try out the new ride! And to be honest??? I have been ready since Midnight to try out the new ride!

Cleaning house and more

2008-07-13T10:24:00.003-04:00

Not only is the rain forcing to me stay inside today and clean the house...but it's got me bored out of my mind. So I have cleaned up my sidebars! I added and took away. Now if I could just get past the itch to chance the template again. Since I have 2 sidebars that means alot of work! I'm hoping some color changes here and there will be enough.
The kids are also cleaning house today. They have every single toy they own on their bedroom floor. There is something about being able to walk across the floor without stepping on a toy that I love and live for each day. After stepping on quite a few match box cars and blocks last night at 1am...the kids are lucky they still own them. Let me tell you those things hurt. Want to get back at someone just cover the floor in those things and have them walk on them.
I used to love summer time when I was a kid. Now? I can't stand it. Hubby's work schedule in the summer months is so hard on me and in turn becomes hard on the kids. That has to do with the fact that I can't take the car and go to the park anytime I want to. My goal is to make this the last summer ever that I'm car free because I can't take another hot summer day just sitting around the house. If that happens I swear I will end up commited to the hospital in a straight jacket because I would loose my mind for good if I have to do this again. Though it's not over until next month so who knows what may happen between now and then! I love the college schedule because they go back before the children do and that gives me more days for retail therapy and park therapy. Just get me there and I will be okay.

Win a Scrapbook Kit

2008-07-13T00:37:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite bloggers is having another giveaway! What is it this time you ask? It's a scrapbook kit from Modzy! If you win you get to pick one out of 16 and they are all awesome kits! I know if I was to win...it would get me off the computer and get my scrapbook up to date. The last page I put in there was Sam's First Christmas...which was 3 years ago! So go on over and enter to win! You also have a chance to get more than one entry in the contest if you do what she tells you!!! Good Luck and Go now!
Clicking on the badge above or in my sidebar will also take you to her site!

Win an iPod Nano!

2008-07-12T09:54:00.002-04:00

I was dropping entrecards this morning and came across this contest! I could pass this up! And I wanted to share this with my readers!

How to Win a iPod Nano and $250.00 massage/Chiropractic Gift card
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All you have to do to have a chance of winning this marvel of modern technology and Free Gift card is Subscribe to my rss feed by entering your email address below The contest will last 2 weeks so tell all your friends and family to come subscribe to win this free gift pack From CrunchNow and BloggerNoob

You Will also need to write a blog post about This blog (on your own blog) and mention this competition(you only have to subscribe to Enter this just gives you 2 chances of winning Instead of one).

Once you’ve done that, come back here and leave a link to your post in the comments to this post. The winner will be chosen at random, so you can say whatever you like about CrunchNow -good or bad!-.

Note:

*This is a Rss competition against me and BloggerNoob
*One person who subscribes wins all the prizes.
*We can add more items as the competition goes on until Friday July 25th at 8pm.
*The more Friends you Tell about This the Greater the chance at winning.

Edited to add...I have no idea why the code they provided gave the enter email code here on my blog. Please go HERE to ENTER!!!!

Dear Grandpa,

2008-07-10T11:31:00.003-04:00

There is so much to say, to explain some of which I'm not ready to yet have to see what comes out of all my thoughts.
First....I love you and I miss you. Had I known I would have been there one way or another. I have no idea if you are aware of what took place 17 years ago or not. If I had to take a guess I would dare say you don't or you only know half the story. The story told to you by him if he was even man enough to say anything. And I doubt he would have allowed Aunt C to say anything. Uncle M hurt me in ways no one should be hurt. When I finally was able to tell someone they all turned on me. Blamed me. Called me a liar. It took me years to figure out that I was not the one to blame but him. I regret going to their house that summer 17 years ago. I should have stayed home or gone to your place. I regret to this day going there. At last this is not why I am writing to you.
It's been 10 years since our last visit. I tried to put the past behind me when I came to stay with you and them. Was told I would be safe. Yet I found myself with the past staring at me in the face and doing harm again. Again when I spoke up and seeked help I was turned on again. Never to see you again. Forever He would stand in my way of seeing you. I should have come to you instead but I knew your health was not that good being you just came home from the hospital. I didn't want to stress you out. I will forever wonder what if....yet what if's don't change anything or give you second chances. Yet this is why you would never see me again. I didn't trust him. I could not bring myself there with him there.....not even with my husband could I bring myself to visit you.
He is also the reason why I was not notified and not there. I have to find a way to get passed my fears of him and to stop allowing him to control who I see. For it could end up being too late again sometime down the road and I don't want to go through it again.
My memories of you are happy memories which will always be in my heart. You taught me all I know about horses. Though there is one lesson I will complete....braiding the tail. You would spend countless summers teaching me how to do this one task for the buggy rides. Yet I could never get it right. And when we thought it was right it would fall out again with one swing of the tail. We would laugh and you would tell me I would get one day. And one day I will. You taught me how to ride and one day I shall teach my children and they will know that you, Grandpa was the man who taught me. I have a love for riding in my blood and each hour, day, week, month, year that passes that I have gone without riding has a feeling of missing something. That something is riding. And when I think of riding horses...I always think of you.

I love you Grandpa and I will forever hold you in my heart. I'm saying my good bye now as I know you are with Grandma now and you two have some catching up to do. This is the best way I could say my good byes to you as I was not there to do this in the proper way. I refuse to allow him to stand in my way.
Love Always,
Your granddaughter
Rebecca

Just when you think things can't get any worse.

2008-07-10T08:39:00.003-04:00

Hubby and I got into a spat a few days ago. It had something to do with his check but I don't recall anymore. Sam has stopped potty training. No it has nothing to do with the spat as it's been 3 weeks of accidents and putting him back in pull ups when it gets to be too much on me to clean up poo from the floor which has carpet and lets not forget about the pee on the couch. So back to the drawing board with him. The kids are now in summer school. However it's a darn good thing daddy is at home when they need to get up for school because I can not get out of bed at 6am to get them on the bus at 7:20am. See 7:20 is when I get out of bed to get them ready during the normal school year. Any earlier than that and you won't see me. Which is what is happening. I'm not able to fall asleep any earlier than midnight and as late as 2am. So he is the one getting them up, fed, dressed and out the door. And then I come downstairs as my body finally allows me to move and get out of bed. Everyday this week Sam has been begging to go to school as well. I show him the calender show him what day it is and when he can go to school too. He is happy with that for 10 mins then it's back to the calender again. The kids get home at noon. Which is Sam's normal naptime. Which means no nap for Sam. I need naptime so I can regather myself and prepare for the arrival of the kids. Which is not happening. And then once the kids get home I'm spending the rest of the day wondering what part of
"STAY OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!"
My children are not understanding. It's got to be the OUT part. It has to be. I would not mind so much if it was not for the bottles hubby has in the room. They are Greatful Dead (did i write that right?) and another one that are collectable items. If anything was to happen to those the end of the world as I know it would end.
And then it happens. 4 days ago....I was in bed when hubby comes up and says I need to come downstairs...something is wrong with the computer. I had the Pillsburry dough boy as my destop background. He was gone and the screen was blue. With a warning. Spyware on the computer install antivirus or spyware remover. I spent the next 3 days figureing out what it was that was on my pc. Fake screen something. The antivirus and antispyware program and the firewall I have failed to find it and failed to block it. I downloaded spybot search and destroy. It found several items and removed them just not the fake screen program. I could not find where it was. And then yesterday morning when I got up I started the pc again to once again spend my day hunting and deleting and backing up which would also fail. Good thing for myspace because i was able to backup my pics there. Anywho when I sat down with my coffee angels came out of the sky. Microsoft had an update for me and it was a malicious spyware removal tool. I downloaded installed and restarted. It found the program for me and removed it. And i disconnected the net and ran spybot again. it found a few more peices of it and removed it. And then I went into my firewall found the file and was able to prevent that from getting online. And now my computer is free and clear. I keep checking with spybot as I have noticed that finds things that my normal programs can not.
Hopefully this is the end of it all. And things can get back on track from here on out because next time....I may loose my pc and all the people in it that I love, adore and look up too!

Sleep Much?

2008-07-03T09:32:00.002-04:00

Sam is now 3 and with being 3 comes new phases. For some reason Sam will no longer go up to bed to fall asleep. So okay this has been happening for 2 weeks now but still. What do you do when your 3 yr old can climb over the baby gate??? Raise it up a little higher? Nope cause too much higher and he can crawl under. So now he is laying on the couch or in my bed until he falls asleep because it's easier. I have watched Supper Nanny and I have seen show after show where she tells the parents to take them back to bed each time they get up without talking to them and after 3 or 4 times the child stays in bed and goes to sleep. Let me tell you they must be doing some serious editing there. I have spent 3 hours taking Sam back to his bed without talking to him. And the end result? He was back on the couch. This was last night. I sat on the couch with him and within minutes he was asleep and within minutes I was online reading blogs. I went and visited Honey Bell. This post had me laughing so hard I woke the boy up. I was trying to leave a comment for her telling her how funny the post was but I had Sam pulling on my arm saying Poo. I asked him if he had to poo and he said Nooooo Not. Asked him if he was done...NOOOOO NOT! I checked him and sure enough he was done. So I changed him and laid him back down telling him I would join in a few minutes. I got my comment posted and went back to the couch. A half hour later we were both in bed.
I have no idea how I'm going to get Sam to fall asleep in his own bed again. But what I do know is that I'm not going to read any funny posts until Sam is in his bed! And Supper Nanny is so edited that there is no way you can apply her methods in your home on your own. You need Supper Nanny there with you!

Wordless Wednesday #6

2008-07-02T12:39:00.002-04:00

This was taken the morning of Sam's Third Birthday.
See more here!

A video

2008-07-01T04:16:00.000-04:00

Happy 3rd Birthday!

2008-06-30T09:59:00.004-04:00

It is so hard for me to believe that this baby is you, Sam! You have grown so much in your 3 years!

You loved laying on the floor watching your brothers play! You would get so mad when you could not get up and chase after them! Now that you can...they get mad because you are always right there! It's amazing how the tides have changed in the last 3 years! You are the explorer! Always looking for something to show me or your brothers! You have a good eye for nature! I told Daddy that I wanted a boy with blue eyes and blonde curly hair! Daddy laughed! When your hair finally came in and it was curly...daddy wanted to shave your head...and still does to this day! You love it when daddy out of the blue gets his hair clippers out and tries to give you a hair cut and Mommy gets up and chases him down while he chases after you! The squeals and laughs are music to my ears! Speaking of music...you love music! You are forever plugging the headphones into the computer asking for songs! Or stealing an ipod to listen to songs! Watching your face light up each and evertime you are listening to songs...blows me away!
Did you know that your love for music started before you were born? You were a rib kicker. I swear it felt like you were climbing your way out using my ribs. One night I was having trouble getting to sleep because you were beating my ribs like a drum. I got up and turned on the radio and laid on the couch. For the longest time your kicks were in tune with the beat of the music. Daddy came out wondering where I was and I told him what you were dancing to the music. He turned it off and said no way. Instantly you started on my ribs again so I turned it back on. Sure enough daddy put his hand on my belly and felt your rythem. Now when you are upset I turn on the radio and you start dancing!
You dance to your own tune even when the music is not on. Dancing though life is a wonderful way to deal with all that life throws at you...keep dancing. Keep dancing!

OMG It's about time dude!

2008-06-27T08:24:00.002-04:00

Hubby is back to work! Could not have returned to work at a better time! I was ready to pack up his stuff and ship him out. I have several blog posts that are in draft form because he hated the idea of my blogging with him home. The couple of posts that I did manage to finish were done while he was upstairs pouting. The things he would pout over are things I deal with every single day. Sam has to watch Mickey Mouse. He watches Mickey Mouse and I don't have to listen to the boy cry for Mickey Mouse all day long until he is on in the afternoon. Daddy could not grasp this concept at all. Now I tend to leave it on cartoons for Sam the rest of the morning. He does not sit and watch the cartoons like a vegie. It's more background noise. Daddy would go to change the channel. Sam freaks when you do this. Unless you tell you him the cartoons have gone night-night so we have to find something else. I thought for sure the world was coming to an end in my house. Sam screaming bloody murder and daddy screaming he is sick of the cartoons all while I'm trying to get a word in to explain to Daddy how to do things to prevent this. Afterwards I would again explain how to change the channel to prevent the meltdowns. I swear he lost his hearing because he never once in the time he has been out of work used the method that works. I would rather use what works to prevent the crying than to listen to the crying...but that is just me.
He got to the point that I was even trying to come up with ways to just shoot him to put him out of misery that would not land me in prison. He was acting like a caged animal for the past 2 weeks. The whole I will go to prison for the rest of my life and never get to see my children grow up thing is why the man is still alive. And the part of I shot at a target back when I was 18 to get my hunting license and I hated hated hated shooting the target. And even though I got my hunting license I never once went hunting. My words to him yesterday morning as he was going out the door to work
You will never be able to handle staying home with the kids all day,every day, every week, every year like I do. Never.
He only had to deal with Sam during the daytime hours. The kids are on day 3 of their summer vacation today. He went to work after all the kids were home one full day. He is so lucky to get out of that. Because it means he still has a home and he gets to live.

Say what?

2008-06-24T12:56:00.002-04:00

I had a meeting yesterday for Sam that I thought was only to discuss a physical therapy eval that was done on him. That is what the paper work said. I get there and it evolves into what is he doing this summer? Is he showing regression to go into summer school? Not according to his OT. Funny thing about having my blog and writing about this day. Even not being home to search my entries I was able to remember I wrote about this. And I already knew this was the one and only day that was easy. Something about no meltdowns, no running away from me, no hitting all stuck in my head. And something about the behavior comeing back a day later stuck with me. I also clearly remeber talking to the OT about this. Today her words haunt me like no tomarrow. It's not related to the therapy he got that day cause I don't see how. I could understand if this was my first time going through this. It's my third time. I was taught along the way how to spot signs of regression. You learn something and then don't know it anymore. You have good behavoirs one day and then bad the next and the next and the next and the next. Sam's behavior issues we have are sensory related. He's out of sync so he is seeking the input he needs. Running and hitting are his way to get his body to feel better. Meltdowns occur when he is so out of whack that he no longer knows what to do to feel better. His first session with the OT was sensory based (rolling) and every one after that were fine motor (puzzles). I did learn something new though. In order to prove regression not only does the parent have to see it and write it down...but the therapist does as well. Clearly our OT was working against us. Sam does not get summer school. Even though he clearly needs it. But without proof from the OT that he regressed he can't go. Does it get any therapy during the summer time? No. Why? Because they don't provide home based therapy during any breaks from school. None. zip. zero. nada.
I may not be able to change things for Sam....but I just might be able to change things for future kids in need who fall through the cracks just like Sam did. I'm going to be doing lots of research to find out how to change the law that kids need to show signs of regression to get into summer school. I want the law to allow kids who are clearly in need of services to start right away can go as well. I know this is going to take a lot of time but I think I can do this. It's not fair that Sam meets all the requirements but one. I also think that home based services should also continue when summer school is open too. That way that option is available if the summer school program is full. I just hope I can get this done. It won't help Sam and I totally understand that....but it can help out our children of the future and they are just as important as Sam is.
Sam does start school in september. I just have to come up with a schedule for the summer time for him. I know I can work with him just going to have up the intensity of it all. At least I can do something to help him. And that is all that matters at this point.

Dear Little Man,

2008-06-23T10:21:00.003-04:00

Today is a big day for you! You are now 7 years old and I can't figure out where the time has gone! Seems like just yesterday we carefully dressed you in this family outfit. Everyone on your dad's side of the family came home in this outfit...including Daddy! The fabric was so fragile I was afraid I would be the one to rip it. You can't tell by looking at this picture that you were crying just minutes before! I held your hand cooing to you letting you that all is right in the world. You settled in and started to drift off to sleep. I let go of your hand just long enough for the picture to be taken. Right after you were so mad because of the flash going off and disturbing you. The blanket in the background has stars on it. Grandma bought you that blanket right after she got the news you were on your way! For months it was the only item we had for you! I still have it to this day! And for your first year of life this blanket was the only one you wanted to anywhere near you! The outfit is now put up as it's too frail to be worn again. On the way home you christened the gown with poo. When I told Grandma what you did she laughed about it and told me not to worry about it..she would get it out.
Little Man...you may not be so little anymore....but you will always be my Little Man. You may not like it anymore when I call you Little Man....it's just so hard to break 5 years worth of calling you Little Man. Do you know how you got that nickname? Our first month home no matter what when I was changing your diaper you would pee on me. Daddy would back up and say you better cover it up and I would never get anything in time. After many changes of clothes for the both of us I sat down with you on my knee and had a chat. You know Little Man you need to stop peeing on me with every single diaper change. Got to give Mommy a chance even just a small one to let me change you without peeing on me. You never did pee on me again after that. And Little Man stuck.
You and I have been on on a roller coaster since you were born. And I don't ever want to get off the ride! I have enjoyed every single minute of it! From the colic to the meltdowns you have today when you can't go outside because it's raining with thunder and lightening! From you learning how to crawl to learning how to read. I have enjoyed watching you practice and practice never wanting to give it up even when you were too tired to continue! When you were learning to walk you never wanted to be in the stroller when we went for walks. You insisted that you had to walk. And when your legs got too tired you would crawl. I would pick you up and tantrums would follow. Put you in the stroller and strangers would stop and talk to you wondering what all the noise was about. I interfered with your learning. I learned to just give you your time and space so you can learn and only helping when you needed me to.
You are an amazing boy. You have an eagerness to learn......and someday that will take you far in life! You don't have time to slow down and I love that about you! I want you to continue on the path you are on because it's the right one for you! Don't ever let anyone slow you down or hold you back! No matter what anyone ever says..you can do anything you put your mind to. And I look forward to many more years of learning along side you a long the way. And truth be told...I can't wait to see what the future brings for you!

Happy 7th Birthday Little Man,
Love always Mom

Busy Bees

2008-06-12T10:23:00.003-04:00

I know I have been not blogging much lately and I'm sorry to my readers for that! Life is busy right now. Gearing up for the end of the school year which the last day is June 24! Also have been busy with Sam and doing his therapies. More on that in a few!
Gregory loves the camera. I have a feeling he may do something with it later in life! He is so photogenic. With out fail when I get the camera out he is right there to get in the lime light!
Curtis is harder. He is more like me and prefers not to have his picture taken. This was taken the other day when we had a little picnic in the back yard and it was really hot out! It was Curtis' idea to have the picnic!

Sam has a basket ball he is keeping away from me. I just love this shot! A millisecond after I shot this the ball dropped and he had to go chase it down!

So what has been keeping me away? Sam's therapies are not going so well which means I am picking up the slack with him. His OT refuses to believe that this day was related to the therapy. How it could not be is beyond me. This tells me with the right kind of input during the day he can be an angel child. Without it I swear he is a spawn of the devil at times! I'm patiently waiting for the date of his next meeting. Specail Ed...I have issues. First of all A just sits and watches Sam do activities and does not engage him at all. In fact I do it and she looks at me like as if I'm stepping on her toes. Someone has to do it otherwise how is he going to learn anything? I understand children learn from play. They also learn through interactions. She is here for an hour. During that hour she says 3 sentences to him. Hi Sam. Want to play? Time for me to go. What is up with that???? I talk to her and I get more of a response from the walls than I do with her. Speech...there is no issues there! He is learning sign language! Starting with colors! He is coming along with that! I'm able to use this with him when we are looking for a toy, picking out clothes and what cup he wants to use! It's all with prompting at this time which is a huge start!

I had Gregory's meeting the other day. Upon questioning and taking in everything and listening to what he can do and what he should be doing I came to a very hard conclusion for him. Actually I think it was harder on me than it ever will be for him. I broke down and cried during the meeting for the first time ever. Gregory will be in kindergarten next year. He needs more time to learn everything he needs to have a good academic year in first grade. He needs more practice. This is the best choice I could have made for Gregory as it's all about him. It's not about the fact that it breaks my heart to do this. I have since put my heart back together and moving forward as I don't have the time to be in pieces when my children need me to be strong and together for them every single day! Last night I casually brought this up to Gregory. I'm not sure if he really understood what I said or not. He was all smiles when I told him and he said okay Mom! And then hugged me and went to play. I told him he was going to kindergarten next year for more practice. I told him all the things that he learned this year. And told him a few things that Mommy, Daddy, Curtis and Sam all needed more time to practice before moving on. Even told him he needed lots of practice as a baby to learn how to crawl and walk and talk and potty train too. He thought that was pretty neat that everybody needs practice!
He is so right about that!

Storms & My Top 10

2008-06-10T12:29:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure how much time I have on here today! We have storms coming and going all day today...severe thunderstorms. However right now the sun is out so I thought I would put a post up while I had the chance!

I thought today I would give my Top 10 Google Searches.

10. it's a he chocolate. I would love to know how you can tell the chocolate is a boy. I am a huge chocolate fan freak and have never noticed if it was a boy or a girl. Interesting!

9. "badly injured man not done partying yet". All I can say is that someone needs to step in and take this man to the hopsital! Every few days I get hit with this search.

8. mothers day 20008. I have no idea what day of the week that mother's day will fall on. sorry.

7. upper lip feels swollen front tooth hurts. This one is also hitting me every few days! Please go to the dentist or doctor and have it checked out!

6. throw a tantrum diaper 2008. What are you looking for? I can throw tantrums and throw a diaper...but what is a tantrum diaper? and it's the year 2008.

5. chocolate crack. Sorry peoples. I don't have any crack much less chocolate crack and I'm pretty sure they don't make it! So stop already! You search every day several times a day for this and find me. Get a hint!

4. painted rooms with chocolate. I don't recomend doing this with chocolate! It's really hot outside and the chocolate will melt and make a huge mess! Then you will have to lick it up off the floor! yuck!

3. seeeing red. If you are so mad that you are seeing red....go for a walk. lock yourself in the bathroom with a glass of your favorite must be over 21 drink!

2. figuring. what are you looking for???

1. Chocolate Laundry Basket must have. I don't think you will want to put your fresh clean clothes fresh out of the drier in a chocolate laundry basket! The chocolate will melt from the heat in the clothes. Then you will have start over if not throw away the clothes. Don't do it!

thoughts

2008-06-06T10:17:00.002-04:00

With Curtis on the autism spectrum we were told when he was diagnosed that his brothers were at a high risk of being delayed or being diagnosed at well. By that time Gregory was already getting services as he was delayed. And Sam was about 4 months old. I knew to expect it. However no matter how much you prepare yourself you can never be prepared to hear the words your child is delayed and needs services. I thought I was prepared. It was even something I was thinking would happen just based on info I was finding on the nets about development and where your child should be what your child should be doing. Each time I would read these guidelines I would find one more thing that Sam should be doing that he wasn't doing. Yet in my heart I was also hoping that Sam would be on target. 2 sides of it all and I wanted to be on both sides. I have been doing so reflecting trying to figure what I could have done to make sure that Sam didn't fall behind. And you know what? I can't think of one single thing I could have done. Well okay I coud have done the whole flash cards and baby mozart and baby einstein videos and any other thing out there being marketed as being the product that will make your child develop the best way possible. So why didn't I? Because I am more of a hands on Mom. From the get go I played with Sam on the floor, read books, experimented along side him and provided love and support the best way I know how. I here about experts saying that this is known as floor time. No floor time here in this house as the floor is the most likely place you find me unless I'm on the pc getting some time for myself because I need to regroup. I know it's nothing I did or didn't do...however Mommy Guilt is here. People think I'm a saint...and I have no idea where they get that from...however that alone is what is keeping the guilt at a low roar. All I am doing is giving Sam the help he needs.
I spoke with the OT. Remember Sam's first session with her and the amazing happy little boy he was that day? Yea just one day and then it's all gone. M (ot) does not think that had anything to do with the session at all. So let's recap shall we? That morning Sam was upset because he wanted hot dogs for breakfast. None in the house so he had a melt down and head butted me. He got a time out and he cried about that for an hour. He watched The Little Einsteins and Mickey Mouse....the 2 must see shows in the house. At lunch time he again wanted hot dogs. None in the house. This caused another melt down, more hitting and another time out. Miserable right up until M got here. Why? Besides not having hot dogs he was also mad because Mickey Mouse was not on. Sam wants Mickey Mouse at his beckon call. How dare he not be on 24/7. Sam jumped right in and did his thing with M. M leaves. Sam gets upset over the fact that M is leaving. However I was able to distract him with...can you guess?.....Mickey Mouse because it was time for a second show! Then we went to the store and Sam was a very well behaved boy! And was the rest of the day. Even though he was told upteen million times that Mickey Mouse was not on anymore. And we still did not have hotdogs in the house! When told no he would just go and do something else. Very rare for Sam. Since that day we have 2 more visits with M. And did not get the same results in Sam because she brought puzzles and blocks. So if this is not related to the OT session on that day then what is it? Oh I know...it is related to the session and M does not want to admit that this is what we are looking for in Sam to get Sam into summer school. It's called regression! I don't know how else it could any more clear! However since I know the ropes already....I brought this up with V (speech). Her thoughts? Write it down as it's a sign of regression. For one day he was able to get through his day without meltdowns and hitting even if it was after the session...it proves he is able to do so. I will go over M's head if that is what it takes! In fact I hope this is the only day this month that Sam does well. This way the regression lasts a long time and I have lots of data to share at his next meeting which will happen at the end of this month because he turns 3.
We met A (specail ed). I'm keeping an open mind with her. However she is more laid back than I think one should be for working with Sam. He leads and that truely is not helping me out. 2 visits and they both went like this. I'm hoping that she is just shy and needs to warm up. Sam is now expecting this to be the way things work around here now. He wants control over everything now. It's amazing what happens with just 2 sessions. Going to have a chat with her next week to get this fixed. I can't have this going on with him on top of everything else he is doing.

I do have some good news though...imagine that!...LOL
Sam has been using the potty now every single day from the time he wakes up till he goes to bed! Today is day 5 of this!!!! I can't believe we are here doing this! And in case you are wondering what my secret is? We ran out of pull ups the day before we got hubby's last check from work. We had one left and that needed to be for bedtime. So I hid the pull up in the towels in the bathroom. He didn't even see me do it! I showed him the empty diaper bag and the empty bag from the pull ups and he went and got under wears and put them on and started using the potty right away! He didn't hear me talking with daddy in code about hiding them. He didn't see me hide them and because he was the one who got the last pull up he knew there was no more!
And....
Hubby is at work right now! And he works this weekend too! And he will be home in time to fire up the grill so I don't have to cook tonight either! It's a blessing all around!

Have you seen my mind??

2008-06-03T11:55:00.003-04:00

Cause I think I have lost it somewhere. Just ask Sam...I'm sure he will tell you. Sure we had one good day with Sam after OT. OT was yesterday and nothing. Sam didn't like the ball she brought as it's one of those with the little legs on the bottom. He thought those were handles to throw the ball better. So putting puzzles together was not enough input for him. He needs deep pressure and lots of input for his arms and lots of rolling. However Sam does not like anything I can come up with to give him this kind of input. Before he loved bring rolled out of his blankets as a game. Now not so much as I tend to try to do that several times a day instead of just before bed. I also made it a game to roll around the floor and squish each other. Sure Curtis and Gregory love this game....Sam? He wants nothing to do with it. I named this one "Roll It" Roll it is fun. Now if I can just get Sam to join in on the fun we would alright! Sam has decided that he wants nothing to eat. And if he does want food it's something we don't have in the house. The good news? He is eating apples, bananas, yogurt, and those nutri grain bars. The only kid in the house who eats healthy foods! Anything else and it's like I'm feeding him poison. Though I'm used to this as Curtis is the same way when it comes to food.
Hubby is on summer break from work. Not used to him being home for the summer.....and I hope he will go and look for a summer job. Normally he works a summer camp but that is up in the air as the contract for that expired and is being worked out. Hopefully they work it out soon just so Hubby is not home for the next 3 months! This is second week off and I'm ready to ship him out the door. Sure he is doing dishes and laundry every day so that is a help but he is not used to sitting home. Not used to Sam's schedule during the day. And with the services now that is all new to Sam so we are having adjusting issues all around. If anyone out there needs a handyman to come do some work around the house....feel free to email me! I'll be more than happy to ship him out! LOL He is also cooking every single meal too! And last night? He even made lemon bars for desert! So I can't complain too much since he is helping. Just wish he would go more with the flow instead of asking 101 times who/what is coming/ going on. I have it written down on the calender....just read what it says!
First speech was yesterday! It was so nice to see her again! Sam worked really well with her! And he helped her clean up....better than he does with me and his OT! So I think it's safe to say that Sam likes her too! Today his special ed teacher is coming for the first time! I don't know her like I do everyone else being that she is coming from a different school! But I'm excited to meet her and I hope we like her too!

update

2008-05-30T11:34:00.004-04:00

We have started OT for Sam on Thursday! He did good with it...better than I thought he would! Sure he refused to pick up after he was done with each activity but she helped him with it. He did have a few small melt downs but nothing like what I get! She took his hand and helped him clean him.....something I even do at times only for him to throw punches or throw his body into mine. I thought he was going to do this with her. Instead he whined and said "No can't" and moved on. It was so nice to see him get through this without the need to hit or throw his body around! After OT we went to the store. Normally Sam goes into the cart without any ands or buts about it. Because just getting him into the store without carrying him is a pain. He is a runner and always tries to run away. He got out of the car and held my hand. He walked through the parking lot holding my hand. Not one time did he try to get away from me! We got in the store and we bypassed the carts. Sam walked holding my hand in the store the whole time! It was so amazing! When the boys got home because we forgot milk and shoe laces and nails we went back to the store. Again he did very well with it! I swear Thursday Sam was replaced with a more gentle child who knows how to listen. Today? Well not so much but I can still see a difference in him! My mind is blown away with this complete turn around! Now I have fingers crossed and hopes and dreams that this will continue. Though today I see his old self ...just not as much as normal. Let's stop beating around the bush...this is signs of regression! If he can do this one day then he can do this all the time.....and he can't keep it that way! So I hope I continue to see this good/bad day stuff from here on out so we can get him into summer school!

Special ED starts Tuesday. Speech starts Monday! So the schedule will be Speech on Mondays and Wednesdays, OT on Mondays and Tuesdays and Specail ed on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Some are mid afternoon and some are after school so they are spread out! I can't wait to see our speech therapist! She worked with Curtis and Gregory and we just loved her and now she is going to work with Sam too!

Curtis and Gregory are doing good too! I have a meeting for Gregory on the 10th to find out what he is doing next year....Kindergarten again or First Grade. I'm thinking another round of Kindergarten will do him some good! Maybe just maybe we can get him to become a social butterfly and pick his head up this way! Have to see what happens!

Happy 10th Birthday!!

2008-05-21T11:36:00.010-04:00

3 months
5 months
7 months...First Christmas
One years old
four years old
9 in the picture yet officially 10!

I can't get over the fact that it's been 10 yrs already! Seems like just yesterday I was dieing from the 200 degree weather with 100 extra pounds(not kidding). I still remember the first time I felt her move. Total butterflies. Angelina was a good baby and still a very well mannered. She loves to read, loves music and wants to be a singer when she is older. She looks just like me and from what Hubby says she acts just like me. (Honestly I have no clue what the man is talking about). She hates doing dishes. She hates folding clothes. Cleaning her room? She does really good with that! Hannah Montana is in and baby dolls are out. Every year for 9 yrs she got a new baby doll from me for her birthday! Every year it was a hit! This year though?? "No more babies Mom, I have enough now" What is that about? She has everything there is to go with her babies and she no longer wants them. Buying for her birthday was tough this year. I kept stairing at the shelves of babies and falling in love with each one of them wanting to get her one but her words echoed in my ears. I was able to find the other things in the store that are not babies. And it took me an hour and a half to pick out a non baby doll. However I know she will love what she is getting as it does have Hannah Montana on it! And it's purple. And you are out of your mind if you think I spent a hundred dollars on the guitar! Though not because I didn't want to but because she needs to learn how to play one before she gets that guitar. "But Mom" is ringing in my ears with that!
Angelina will be whoever and do whatever she sets her mind to! And her sobbing mess of a mother will always support her and stand behind her...and always never what...will always be so very proud of her!
Happy 10th Birthday Angel Babies! (She is so not going to like that I just said this. It's been her knick name since birth!....I.could.not.help.myself)

Still Waiting

2008-05-20T10:13:00.004-04:00

Well yesterday was the deadline for the school to set up Sam's home based services. I thought for sure that I would hear something by the end of the day yesterday. Guess this is what thinking gets for me. I hope they call soon! I have been doing some OT type therapy with Sam as I learned how to do them with Curtis and then Gregory so it's natural for me to just to do it with Sam too. He is responding well to deep pressure and "Pushies" other wise known as joint compressions. He is also responding well to to the Brushing. Since I no longer have the actual brush for this I am improvising! Bath time I use deep pressure with the wash cloth as I scrub him up and I count each stroke on each arm and leg to make sure that each side is even. I am also doing lotion baths. He is always covered in lotion now as that is his favorite thing in the world....well besides Mickey Mouse! He also loves being the piggy in the blanket! I wrap him up tight in a blanket and then take a pillow and squish him and then I roll him out of it! We do this stuff all day long! The baths are morning and night. And I have to say that in 4 nights he started sleeping in! Instead of waking up before the sun would come up he is now waking up around 7:30 which is alot easier to handle than 5:30!
I totally wish I had a blog back when I was doing this stuff with Curtis. Or at least I wish I never lost the notebook I was keeping full of notes and activities that he was doing that worked. This is all I can remember and I know there were plenty more that we were doing. My Mommy brain though just does not recall anything else. For now though this is a good start! Now they just need to call and get this going already! The sooner the better for Sam!

On another note Angelina is turning 10 tomorrow! 10! Ten! Do you have any idea how hard it is to shop for a 10 yr old these days?? I guess its a good thing that Hannah Montana is around! I was able to take that and run with it! She will be suprised when she sees what she is getting. Her party is on Friday at a local pizza shop! More later!

Something to share.....

2008-05-16T11:05:00.005-04:00

On May 2, 2008 Hubby had to work that Friday even though it was his day off. Not only was he working but he worked later than normal. He had a huge dinner to prepare and serve that night. He works at the local college as a chef. He went in at 9 and didn't come home until 11:30 earlier than I thought he would. What he had brought home was just amazing and unexpected. I am not sure why this all underlined and have no idea how to undo it. So anyways...he brought home a book of art from a famous artist who was the guest speaker at the dinner. Yankel Ginzburg. Below are just 2 of my favorite pieces from the book. Though I have to say my scanner did not do them any justice.

I gave up trying to write above the pictures since it was all underlined and I didn't care for that. The black in the first one....is not any where near the blackness in the book. The really cool part is that in the pictures Yankel painted ladders in them. It's just so cool that I could not bring myself to keep it to myself! The second one is actually done on wood. Totally amazing. From reading the back of the book I learned that the ladders symbol optimism. And that in each of his peices he has some sort of symbol in them all. The book has a collection of the ladder pieces. If you enjoy these 2 as much as I do I may share more! Amazing!

PS...If anyone out there knows how to undo the underlining above the pictures....would you share that with me?

PSS After hitting the publish button I see the underlining is not there in the post. However for some reason the top paragraph is linked up and I'm not sure why so just ignore the linkage..thanks!

Sam and what we are doing to help him.....

2008-05-14T11:39:00.003-04:00

So Monday I went to Sam's meeting to discuss our options for him as far as getting him the help he needs....special ed, occupational therapy (OT) speech therapy (ST) and getting the physical therapy eval done as well. I knew going in that his chances of starting preschool now were slim with school just about over with. However I had high hopes that he would at least start preschool in July for summer school. There is nothing like having your hopes being squashed. They might not be as high as they were on Monday morning...they are still there. We have time to document any regression he could very well show between next week and end of June. So how do we get this down on paper for him? Starting next week we should have a team together for him to get his services home based. So ok not quite what I was looking for or wanting for Sam but its something and its a good place to start! 2 hours once a week a special ed teacher will be coming to the house to work with him. 2 times a week for a half hour each an OT will be here to work with him. And 2 times a week for a half hour each a ST will be coming to the house as well. My blogging will be cut back even more than what I have been doing lately. I don't like to not be blogging the way I used to do...however I have some therapy ideas to be doing with Sam so I am working with him on my own until the team can start coming here! I don't plan to shut down at all just will be doing less blogging. I don't like it but right now Sam needs me more than this blog does! I hope I don't loose the readers I have now because of this! Even if I am not blogging here I still try to read blogs when I have the time.
I'm playing with the idea of blogging about Sam's therapies. Just not sure if you all want to hear about that. Will have to see when the time comes! Everyone else is doing great! Well I'm off now to do some rough housing with Sam and some crafts too!

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T11:40:00.003-04:00

I wanted to wish all the Mom's out there a Wonderful day today!! Today it's just me and the kids as hubby is working. No fret though cause I am used to him working on Sundays and we had a wonderful day yesterday! We went to his Mom's house and family gathered! Once everyone was there we had 1 teenager and 8 kids all under the age of 8. Fun times I tell you! Later I will share some photos with you! I am just too tired to deal with all that right now. Yesterday even though it was fun it was draining! I will leave you with this: Just before we were ready to leave we found a bird's next in the gazebo and discovered it had baby birds in it! We all felt bad because that is where we all gathered and kept the mama bird from getting to her babies. So we gathered up everything and went to another area hoping the mama bird would come and feed them. The kids thought that was the neatest thing ever! While we were moving all the food into the house they kept climbing up and stomping feet to get the babies to stand up so they could see them! Its amazing how they were there the whole time yet we didn't know! A radio was brought out and the receiver was put just above the nest and yet they went unoticed! Very cool I tell you! Anyways have a wonderful day today and enjoy your children!!!!

Wordless Wednesday #5

2008-05-07T12:06:00.002-04:00

What Gregory bought last week with his book fair money.

See more here!

Ramblings

2008-05-06T11:52:00.002-04:00

It has dawned on me that soon I will be the only one home....as least in the mornings. I'm banking on Sam starting preschool real soon. As in hopefully this month! His IEP will be made on Monday. He could start right away or he could start in July for summer school. I'm hoping they will let him start this month! Introduce him now and then summer school and then the regular school year. Mornings kid free. Of course I won't be totally alone as hubby will be home until he has to go to work. I wonder what that will be like? I'm going to keep Sam half days for now. Figure we will see how he does and then go from there! I would love for him to go full days. But since he is so little I'm worried that the full day class will be too big for him. I have time to figure that out later. I already know the first few days I will be falling apart. I did with Angelina, Curtis and Gregory. So I know it will happen with Sam too! I imagine getting my house clean and in order...the way it used to be before kids. And then it will fall apart the minute they come home but that's okay! I imagine getting blogs read and books too! I have so many books that are waiting for me to read just have not sat down long enough to read them!
Not much is going on around here which is why I have not blogged very much. Mother's Day is coming up. Will be going up to Grandma's house(mil) Saturday for our first family picnic of the year! I'm so excited!!! Family gatherings have cut down because of gas prices and food prices going sky high. So to actually have one is like winning the lottery to me....well it's close! Of course since this picnic has been planned since november my mother called me wanting us to come to her house saturday. Would have if not for this already planned and happening. Needless to say she is not happy about it. We have never done last minute plans around here as far as family gatherings. They have to be planned out. Curtis needs a schedule. Everything is planned out a month a head or not more just so he is aware. The smallest change will send him into fits. Since he was aware of the picnic happening at Grandma's I could not change that. Hopefully my mother has learned this lesson....though I doubt it because it's been like this for us since Curtis was 3. It's weird how the inlaws have learned this early on and follow it to a tee. They understand. Yet my mother can't get it through her thick head. Oh well it's her loss not mine.

Fears

2008-05-02T21:43:00.003-04:00

Since tonight Hubby is working over time do to a special dinner he has to make and won't be home until 11:30 pm or later I figured I would share some of my very real fears. It took me forever to find the terms for my fears and now that I have I want to share them. I'm bored can you tell? LOL
So here goes:
1. Acrophobia- Fear of heights. This is a big one for me. Ever since I can remember I have been afraid of heights. Crossing bridges scare me though not as much as it did when I was little. Rides that take you up in the air....never been on them. Flying never have and never will. Though flying is one in itself.
2. Achluophobia- Fear of darkness. I never ever never walk outside in the dark alone. I don't like it. My heart races even when someone is with me. I can't walk into a dark room. Hubby has to turn the lights off downstairs after I am upstairs in our room with the light on and the tv on. I set the sleep timer on the TV to turn off after I am asleep because I can't go to sleep in a dark room.
3. Aichmophobia- Fear of needles or pointed objects. Just the needles for me. I can't stand needles. They make my blood curl just thinking about it.
4. Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself. I don't like being alone in a house by myself. You can't say that I am alone right now because I have yet to put the children to bed. Though since it's 9:51 pm est as I write this up they do need to go soon. Just the thought of them going to bed is scary to me.
5. Aviophobia or Aviatophobia- Fear of flying. See I told you this was a fear all by itself. Though the fear of heights plays a major roll in this fear. I have told Hubby that if he wants to go somewhere far away from home we will have drive there. And if the oceans are in our way? A boat will work. Or he can have me sedated put me in a box and ship me that way.
6. Scelerophibia- Fear of bad men, burglars. Being that I am out in the middle of no man's land I fear someone breaking into the house. Lots of things come to mind when I am here with just the kids late at night. All windows and doors are locked and I have the phone next to me.
And there you have it. All 6 of my fears all laid out. What are some of your own fears?

Sammy Sam....

2008-05-01T08:05:00.004-04:00

Before the eval we took Sam to the playground at the lake. He had such a blast climbing up and crawling to the slide and then going down the slide! Over and over and over again! Daddy picked Sam up because Sam slid down the slide backwards and he was not happy. "He's wet" Of course I didn't think to pack an extra outfit. Took him to the car expecting his pull up to be soaked and leaking. Yet it was dry. He got his pants wet from the slide. I didn't think that it would be wet from all the rain we have had the past 2 days. Being that it was a beautiful day out with a chill in the air I wasn't thinking. The sunshine and blue skies threw me off. Because of the chill we left there with Sam kicking and screaming wanting to play. I took his pants to the laundry mat and dried his pants. Then Sam and I walked from there to KLS for the eval and daddy went to work. It's only 2 blocks. 2 blocks and I felt like I was going to die. Mind you I used to walk at least 5 miles a day 3 yrs ago when we lived in town. I even walked that while pregnant with Sam. It was odd that 2 blocks left me like that. I need to start walking again.

Anyways we got there a half hour early. Which was good because we were able to start right away! Sam was upset at first because he wanted to go play on the playground they have there. But that was forgotten once we entered the gym! At first he was shy and would not have anything to do with being put down once everyone was there and it was time to start. I sat down and they gave him a ball to play with and that was the end of him being shy. While he played with the ball I answered questions. Then it came time for him to go into the eval room. They wanted him to go by himself but I was not sure if he would or not. Either way it would not matter because I am allowed in there with him. They were able to trick him into going. They had him open the door and throw the ball in and then go get the ball. And the team went in right behind him! I was able to sit and watch the whole thing! I was in another room with a window so I could see and a baby monitor so I could listen. I also had questionaires to fill out. Sam was hilarious during the eval! He made funny faces and did things that were funny. At one point they have him circles, squares and triangles big and little ones. They wanted him to put the little ones on the big ones. He dropped the small circle on the table and it vibrated and spun around. He did that over and over and over each time they told him to put it on the big one. Sam was a real trooper! After that they tried to see him get mad to see if he really does hit like I say he does. Being that everyone was watching him each time I told him No and took the ball away he would just run off and find another ball. Alone he would have hit me for taking it away and telling him no. They gave up and just took my word for it and left the gym so they could figure out the results so they could tell me. They should have stood outside the door a few mins. In the gym is where the OT/PT office area is. Sam kept trying to get in there and I kept taking him out and telling him No. Upon being put down he hit me and threw his body into mine.
As it turns out Sam is delayed in speech. And has sensory issues too. Though he is sensory defensive instead of being a seeker like Curtis is. He is unaware of his body in space. And with his love to hide in tunnels and under blankets it's his way of saying there is too much space for him to comfortable in. He prefers tight areas. So what does this mean? Because next month he turns 3 he can't get early intervention. He gets to start school and will attend KLS just like his brothers do!!!!!! He will get speech and OT. I have his CPSE meeting the 12th to get things started and going for him! I hope he can start right away and not have to wait for summer school to start cause that will push it all back until July. I did not have this blog 2 yrs ago when he burned his hands with coffee (story for another day). He did and he is not scared. However they think his hand movements and grasp and use of his hands are not where they should be for his age so the team wants a physical therapist to evaluate his hands cause he may need physical therapy to gain strength and use his hands properly. This was the only shock to me because I didn't realize that he was not using his fingers/hands properly until they pointed it out to me. Had I known we would have checked it out way way way before now. We still have time to help him all around though! I'm glad we had this done and now I hold the ball to get this all set up for him! 11 days is not to far off!!!! I fought for his brothers and it won't be any diffrent with Sam! I know the process and know how to word everything in such away that the board can't argue with me! In fact there have been times where the board jokes about me being paid to say things the way I do. No it comes from experience and listening and learning along the way! Curtis paved the way for Gregory and Curtis and Gregory paved the way for Sam! I'm going to have a field day with the board! *evil laughing*

Sam and I walked 4 blocks to meet Daddy on his lunch break so he could bring us back home. I thought I was dieing with just 2 blocks. Ha! You know you are out of shape when you just about pass out after walking 4 blocks. When your heart is racing as if you ran in a marothon. And when you know that you used to walk 5 miles daily. Need to start walking again. So Sam starts school and I start walking. That is the plan anyways!

My thoughts and feelings........

2008-04-30T09:33:00.004-04:00

Sam's eval is today. I'm nervous and exited all at the same time! It's weird in a way because before this was scheduled he was saying a few words...Mommy, food, drink, no, can't, said so, truck, mickey mouse. And today....today he is naming everything and anything that he lays eyes on. Though Daddy is still daddy! Since 6am he has said cat, dog, bird, elephant, curtis, gregory, hungry and thirsty. What is up with that? Is he going to make me feel foolish for having this done? Or is he going to validate my thinking that he is delayed? Either way....I really don't care what comes out of this as long as I know where he stands with his development! If he is on target that is awesome! All my hard work has paid off! And if not? Then I will fight to make sure that he gets the help he needs! I do it for his brothers so he would not be any diffrent! I'm also excited about today because I am taking him to KLS the same preschool that both Curtis and Gregory attended! I'm going in early because I know the teachers and princible and secrataries are going to go nuts seeing Sam again! It will be nice to once again see them all again! I'm even going to take a family picture in for the princable as a nice surprise for her and once again as a way to thank her and everyone else there for all the hard work they did with Curtis and Gregory.
Ok OK you caught me. I'm secretly hoping Sam will be able to attend there as well. Knowing that every one there is kind and caring and the best people in the planet who make the preschool a great place to start. Even if this does mean that I'm secretly hoping he is delayed.....does this make me a bad mom for this? Who knows. All that matters in the end Sam. I will have results today when I walk away. And then I will go from there.
In the meantime though this is what I am truely feeling and thinking at this time. I only have one wish real wish and that is for Sam to be his self today!

Could it be??

2008-04-28T11:31:00.004-04:00

Sammy Sam is my youngest. Sam is the one who is giving me the run for my money. He is the one who is stubborn, wild, and needs the most redirecting. He is soon to be 3. And I dread what comes our way on one hand yet thrilled with the unknown! For months and months now we have been on the Potty Training Train. For months he has gone on the potty a few times here and there only to stop and tell me "No! Can't". and when I ask why not? "said so" is his reply to me. For months I thought for sure when he would out of the blue start using the potty that this was it! We are finally going to be able to say good bye to pull ups. Only to here "No! Can't" within hours of thinking he was going to finally make it. I gave up thinking this was it after having my heart drop each time he would say no. I don't know if I should even dare say this so I need to come real close and listen cause it's killing me keeping it in. I need to share with some one. Ready?
For the past 7 days.....7 whole wonderful days....Sammy Sam has been using the potty EVERY SINGLE DAY! So ok he has yet to make a Poo in the potty. And he is still wearing a pull up for sleeping. For 7 whole days I have yet to hear those dreaded words mentioned above! Sure we have also had a few accidents....about 4 a day but I can't complain about that. He knows when he wets. He knows when he needs to poo because he comes and tells me and asks for a "Change" which his word for pull ups.
Now do me a favor and don't party just yet. I feel like we are getting somewhere but I fear he will say "No Can't" any second now.

Curtis update

2008-04-22T11:19:00.002-04:00

The kids are back in school after having their spring break last week. I didn't get to post here as often as I wanted because I was spending alot of time with Curtis trying to get his attention so he could learn some new chores around the house. He is awesome when it comes to picking up toys and dirty clothes. Now though he is wanting to learn how to fold his clothes and to do dishes. He aslo wants to learn how to cook. I'm not quite ready to teach him that just yet as his attention span is 2 seconds flat! He is folding his shirts better than I do at times! Pants are harder for him but he is not giving up on it! Dishes are anther story all together. He prefers to just play in the soapy water and washing a dish consists of wiping both sides but not removing the food from them. He is teaching me patients.....something I never had until I gave birth to him! Folding a basket of clothes takes me 5 mins. Teaching him it takes an hour or longer. Dishes about a half hour for me as I tend to stop and get drinks or to get the kids out of stuff they should not be in. With teaching Curtis is takes 2 hours! I have to show him with each item how to properly clean it even if he is washing a plate and he just washed one. Though he is so proud of himself with each plate, bowl, spoon or fork that he washes! It's like seeing him wash each one for the first time over and over and over again with his face just beaming and glowing with pride!
I just wish his teachers would have more patients for him. I take the time to go over and over and over a task with Curtis until he finally gets the task done without my help or input. Yet they can't seem to be bothered. I know there are other children in the classroom they need to teach as well. I understand. What I don't understand is why they are insisting that he needs meds in order to have enough attention to do a task the first time without prompting. There has never been a task that I have showed Curtis how to do one time and he was able to do it alone. Never. It's a part of who he is. I have accpeted it and work with him until he is able to do something alone.
I'm so frustrated. When it comes to his teachers I feel like I talk to the walls. I feel like I bang my head on the walls over and over expecting it not to hurt.....but it does. I had a meeting today with the school board. As you can guess they again brought up his attention span with me. As if I don't know about it or even care. I do care and I do know. I have known since he was a baby. I know there are meds out there in the world that *Could* help him. However we have been down that road and it just does not work. After trying 5 diffrent pills for him and having it effect him in a negative way.....We...his father and I....decieded that meds were not the way for him. We have accpeted Curtis the way he is. We have decided that we don't want a *cure* or a *fix* for him. We want to work with him and teach him at his own pace along this journey of his life.
I know that I could pull him out and homeschool. I didn't do well in school and niether did Hubby. I know I could find someone else to homeschool for us but then what about socailization? It's just not an option for us. I hate coming out of these meeting feeling like somehow I am failing. I hate that every one just points out the *bad* things about my son. What about all the things he can do or is learing to do that was never come to be?? Does that stuff no longer count???
Hubby and I are going to be looking closely at our finances. We are going to find some money weekly to help the inlaws do the repairs on the new place. Hopefully between the two incomes of thiers and ours we will be able to complete them a little sooner and get in there sooner. The new district is smaller. And I have heard the teachers work better with the children. I hope that the teachers and everyone else that I will come in contact there will actually use their ears and listen to what I have to say. And being that I have spoken to the new district a few times already.....my hope soars sky high.....because I have a deep gut feeling that this will be the best thing ever.
And until then? I will be working extra hard with Curtis about maintaining his attention span here at home. Dishes and laundry are a good place to start for him. And after that???? There just might be a 6 yr old...soon to be 7....learning how to cook! I wonder what his teachers would have to say about that???

Signs of Spring

2008-04-20T10:30:00.002-04:00

So ok I don't have pictures of flowers or trees blooming. But I do have pictures of the boys outside! And that right there is all I need to prove that spring is in the air! In case you are trying to figure out what Sam's shirt says it says "Annoying my parents is My full time job."

Running as fast I can.....

2008-04-17T15:47:00.003-04:00

I have decided to switch dentists. I had another appt with the dentist in two weeks and have been having panic attacks just knowing I had to go back. I could not keep the appt. I could not talk myself into going back there. I talked with some friends and only one goes to another dentist that takes my insurance. She had nothing but Good things to say! So I looked up the number and talked with the dentist! He will have to take x rays and make a plan from there. Yet says that there is no reason why he can't finish what has been started already! He did say that if I have a panic attack in his office or even one before I get there to let him know. He will just do the x rays make a plan and send me and his plan to another dentist that does the sedation! Not all dentists do it.....but he has a good friend that does! Sure instead of going in 2 weeks I have to wait a month. But that gives me a month to heal from the last 4 teeth extractions and hopefully not be so nervous or panicky when I go! He said this is the best thing for ME.
I felt better after talking to him on the phone! It even felt good to make the appt with him. I wan't full of dread and I was able to breath! Then I turned around and called the sadist dentist up and canceled my appts with her. Just dialing the number made my chest tighten. I just kept telling myself all i was doing was cancelling the appts so I didn't have to go back. By the time I was off the phone I was in a full panic attack.
No one can't anything done when they can't breath and feeling nothing but dread. I was able to shorten the attack by remembering the conversation I had with the new dentist! I can finally breath and feel really good about this choice! I thank all of you who gave me advice! I was feeling like I was over reacting or something but clearly I was not!

What would you do?

2008-04-16T11:34:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I went back to the dentist. That is now twice in 2 weeks. I don't think I mentioned it last week when I had 2 teeth pulled. That left me with one tooth in the back on the left side. Yesterday 2 more were pulled. On the top left side and that also leaves me with one tooth in the back on that side. It started out that all the teeth that needed to come out on the left top side would come out. This included the ones in the front that are coming out to make room for the partial. So I was numbed up for a total of 4 teeth to yanked out. While numbed up she also cleaned my teeth. Not a big deal cause I could not feel anything. Then she started yanking the teeth. Just before the first one was completly out I felt her pulling on the tooth. I felt the tool she was using. I was able to stop her. She gave me 3 more shots. That one came out. She started on the second one again I felt it just before it was totally out. Again she gave me 3 more shots. That one came out. Then she was in the front and went to start pulling out number 3. Starting is the key word. She poked my gum where the tooth meets the gum with a tool. I.Felt.That. Instead of just raising my left hand like I am suppose to do I screamed at the top of my lungs. As much as someone can do with their mouth already open with hands and tools in their mouth. I was done. Sure she could have given me more shots but quite frankly I could not stand to sit there any longer. I could stand to be in the same town as the dentist was.
I don't want to go back there again. I want to find another dentist. I want to finish somewhere else. I have had enough. With each tooth that has been pulled in the past few months...which is a total of 6 I have had countless shots, and have heard with each single tooth cracking and popping of bone. It's a sound that I can not begin to describe. But it's 50 times worse than someone taking thier nails and scratching a chalk board. I kid you not. I can not sit and listen to this sound anymore. I have talked to another dentist that is willing to take me on. Is willing to try to finish up the work. And has said that more than likely he would refer me to anther dentist that would not only finish the work for me but would aslo sedate me for the remaining work. This I have to say sounds like dental heaven.
Yet Hubby makes a good argument.
He says because I am so close to being done.....as in I have 3 more teeth(if i am counting right) left to be pulled. That would take 2 more visits. Unless she decides to numb the front teeth on top and the ones on the bottom right.....that it would be sensless for me to find another dentist at this point. And he says it will take longer to get the work finished if I switched now than it would if I stayed and finished up.

Would you stay and listen to bones cracking and popping each time a tooth was pulled? Would you suck it up with the needles and keeping going? At this point I am starting to have panic attacks just thinking about the dentist. And on days that I do go....I can hardly breathe but somehow manage to live through the visit.
Or would you just say I can't take it anymore and go to someone who could send you to someone just to be sedated so you end up being more relaxed and comfortable?
Tell me....what would you do?

Good News:)

2008-04-13T10:55:00.002-04:00

Sometime in the near future we are moving! We will be moving to a smaller town not too far from where we are now. We still won't be in town though....LOL. And the best part is that we will be living next door to the inlaws. Not a bad thing for us! I actually love my MIL as if she was my own mom. And close to my FIL as well. We will be going from a 2 bedroom with a small yard to a 4 bedroom with a huge yard! The kids will get to spend more time with their grandparents and we can help them out more! We will aslo be switching schools. The new school district is actually smaller which means smaller classrooms which means the kids will get more time with the teachers.
So what does this mean for us? We will be helping with repairs. New floors throughout the whole place. Not only are we going to help with that but I also have the task of finding the flooring myself. I will be able to pick what I want and hopefully I will find something that is nice to look at and easy to clean! I have decided not to have carpeting because it's so hard to clean up any spills. I also have the option of picking out anything else I want for the place! I also get to let the kids pick out paint for their room....that will be a treat and a task! I have already found out that they want diffrent colors for the room. Gregory wants yellow, curtis wants blue and sam wants orange, blue, red color names he knows. I am playing with idea of painting everything blue and using yellow for stars and then i just have to figure out what to do to add one of the colors for Sam. For right now we are keeping them in the same room until they are a older and comfortable in the new place. I fear if we split them up now it would mean no sleeping.
If you have any ideas about how to add red feel free to share! I am not creative enough to come up with something that will work and look good! Hubby says we could do red stripes on the walls. Not sure if that would work or not.
Angelina's room will be easy! She wants either pink or purple. Though it's easy when only one child needs to pick for one room!
My room I am thinking about doing something with chocolate brown and some shade of blue trim.
The kitchen, bath, dining room and living room all need ideas as well. I just have not gotten that far yet! I welcome any ideas you all may have so feel free to share! I would love any input!
Well that is the good news! Updates will come as we get started! We are going there on Saturdays until the work is complete!!

2008-04-11T12:30:00.002-04:00

Sam's eval is set up for the 30th of this month! I can't wait to find out where he is developmentaly! That is about the only thing going on with us at this time.
Hubby's friend is home and doing well. Better than I thought he would be that is for sure! One less thing to be on my brain keeping me awake at night.
It's warmer outside now. The kids have been playing outside alot and that alone is a good thing! Though today its raining which puts a damper on the good moods everyone has had. However I have a feeling we may end up with snow a few more times before spring actually does show itself!
Well this is all I have for now. I seem to be in a writer's frump and hope it clears soon. I hope everyone is doing well!

Thoughts

2008-04-06T11:17:00.002-04:00

I know I have not been around the blogoshere much in the past few days. I'm sorry for that. I just have alot going on and alot on my mind....much of which I can't discuss to much on my blog. It's better that I don't blog instead of blogging about something that really does not belong here.
I do have to say this though a good friend of Hubby is in the hopsital. He was seriously injured while at work but will recover. He is due home in a few days as long as nothing else medically comes up. I just want him to know that I am thinking of him and wishing him well.

I will hear this coming up week about when Sam will be evaluated! In one hand I hope he is developing properly and that all my hard work with him has paid off! In the other hand though I also hope that he needs the extra help so he can start preschool this year. It would give him the socailization that I know he desperatly needs. I know this sounds bad coming from me as his Mom but I'm being honest. Either way it goes though I will be happy. I will finally once and for all now exactly where Sam stands with his development. I do want him to where he should be. Which is why I have worked with him so hard his entire life!

Gregory is eating me out of house and home. He has finally figured out that food is good. Food is for growing! yay! However this means that he is outgrowing all of his pants! The boy finally has a waist to hold his pants up! Right now he is sharing pants with Curtis until we can go clothes shopping. Actually the issue is that stores do not seem to carry boy clothes. I can find shirts but not pants. Not even shorts that are his size. It's really annoying that stores can't seem to carry the sizes that you need for your kids. If I thought I could get away with it I would buy girl pants for him but I know that would not go over at all for him or his dad.

Curtis. My Little Man is not so little anymore. He is 6 going on 7 in 2 months. The boy is almost up to my shoulders. I'm 5'6 give or take a few inches. It's official he will be 10 and taller than I am. He has a goal and when he sets a goal he sticks with it until he reaches his goal. Something that I have helped him do. He wants to be taller....taller than his daddy. Who is at 6'1 give or take. I believe when he reaches 15 he will have met that goal. Curtis has a few goals that he is working on. He wants to learn all there is to know about dinosaurs. Right now we are learing together each name of the dinosaur and will go from there. So far he can tell me 5 of them and a few facts as well. Ex: He knows T rex is one of the biggest. Knows the T Rex walks like we do and knows he ate other dinosaurs. It only took him one day to learn this.

Angelina: Is reading books as if they are going out of style. That's my girl! She has a love for reading and that is one of the best things ever for a child to have! She is currently working her way through the Baby Sitter's Club books. She is reading one book within 3 days of starting it. Just like I do!
That's all for now! I do plan to get back into the swing of things here soon!

Little Man's Story Part 2

2008-04-02T08:41:00.006-04:00

I wrote the first part of this here. Little Man is Curtis. Who is now 6 soon to be 7. Alot has happened since I wrote that. Curtis full diagnosis at this time is Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder and ADHD. He still gets speech and OT. He is no longer on meds. We could not find a med to help him that would not cause the sensory system to go into a full meltdown. (My words are used to here to make it easier to understand) Or if it was not with his sensory system it was his previous put to "rest" symptoms of autism that were coming back. From making full contact with you to not being able to even look at you. From no longer staring out the window for hours on end to staring out the windo for hours. The school is currently no longer on the same page as I am. They are still working really hard with him however they are wanting an easy road now. They want him back on the meds. I admit meds can help many many children with ADHD. However it's harder when you have autism and sensory "issues" (easier term to understand) to put into play.
At the age of 6 Little Man has made great gains. We were told he would never be able to ride a two wheel bike ever. Last summer he got on a friends bike without training wheels and worked and worked on riding it until he got it! He asked for his training wheels to be taken off his own bike! He has been riding a bike ever since! He was 5 when he showed the doctors how wrong they can be! He is reading. I was told that he would never reconize letters beyond his name. And he is tying his own shoes. The doctor insisted that he would not get that until he was at least 10. He is 6 and doing a fine job.
There is a few thing s I have learned with my son.
A. Mom can have hopes and dreams for child no matter what. Mom just has to adjust her hopes and dreams to fit her child instead of fitting the child to dreams that could be out of reach.
B. Mom's instincts is a powerful tool. Feel something is off? Feel something "not right"? Speak out. Shout Out. Never doubt yourself for one minute. I learned that I was right all along. Just took time for me to get someone to actually sit and talk with me and really listen to what I had to say.
C. Doctors don't know everything. They are human just you and me. They have told me a number of things my son would never do and yet my son does them. Do listen to what the doctor has to say. Just keep a little hope and a ton of faith for your child. I did and my son is making great gains!

Potty Training....

2008-03-31T09:43:00.004-04:00

All weekend Sam has used the potty!!! I will admit he kept his pull up on because I could never catch him before he made a stinky poo. That is until last night! He went poo in the potty! I was able to catch him last night. He normally goes up to his room and then he comes down saying "I farted" when it reallly was not a fart but a poopy. I was on the couch watching Big Brother 9 when he crawled to the couch and was playing puppy. He stood up and looked at me and I knew from his red face what was happening. I put him on and he did it! On the potty chair. Which by the way goes unused because he prefers the big one. I don't care as long as he goes! Upon being done I had a mess to clean up. Let's just say that he sits too far back on the potty and it was all over the back of the potty. So I took it apart to clean it up. I thought I had the blue ring insert cleaned up. I come back from cleaning out the bowl part and Sam has the ring on his head. The cushy blue ring on his head. The part that I thought I had cleaned up. I took the ring off his head only to find that I did not have it cleaned like I thought I did. Did I tell you that just before Big Brother came on that I did baths?? So Sam got 2 last night to clean the poo off his head. During the bath daddy kept calling Sam Poopy Head. And Sam kept shouting "No! Head"
Sam is still using the potty this morning! And for the record even though Sam started this whole thing months ago all on his own....I am not pushing Sam. Sam is doing this all on his own. Sure it has dragged on and on and on and on for months and months and months. However I forsee in the near future that Sam will be totally trained. I have hope for him yet!

Almost All Fixed....

2008-03-29T11:03:00.002-04:00

I have the new template and all but one widget is up and running and working the way it needs to be. The one that is not working is a new one I just found today. It's part of the Entrecard thing that has the You drop I follow badges that I have seen everyone else have. I have put the code in the same box as the entrecard but it does not show up. I put it in a box all by itself under the entrecard and still no show. I am going to try to get that code to show through one way or another.
Other than that my place looks so much better than it ever has! It's clean and simple. And I have more room than I know what to do with! I just want to say that I get bored with the same thing all the time so if you stop in at any given time and things are diffrent....it's because I have gotten bored with it. Which is why I have yet to buy my own template for fear that I will get bored with it all to fast and waist the money. And I can't afford to buy a new template every month.
I have figured out what I want to do once Sam starts going to school. I want to learn how to codes and such so I can make my own templates. That would be awesome! Who knows maybe if I get good with it I will be able to take it further than that!
Now I just have to figure out where I need to start so I can do this. First things first though Sam needs to start school and I need to go back to school myself. At least I have finally figured this out and finally know what I want to be doing in say......5 years!

Making Some changes....

2008-03-28T15:25:00.001-04:00

I just wanted to make note that I am making some changes so if you see something that does not look quite right please be patient with me! I am working on a new design and my widgets have gone all hay wire on me! I didn't expect this to happen otherwise I would have waited until sleeping hours!
I hope to have it fixed here real soon!

Potty Training Take 1001

2008-03-27T11:07:00.002-04:00

Sam is once again playing with the idea of becoming a big boy and using the potty! As much as I want to shout this from the roof top I am so not going to until he is complete with the process. This time around he is going potty either before I do or after I do depending on how busy he is with his toys. Not only is he going potty every single time but he is doing so on his own.
Sam has a stubborn streak. When he sets his mind to something he will either do it or not do it depending on what is you want him to do. Want him to potty train?? Forget It. Won't happen unnless it's totally his idea. There is no taking the diapers and hiding them. He knows. Even when he is sleeping and you hide the diapers......he knows they are in the house somewhere and he will pee on the floor until you have had enough and get the diapers. Pull ups? He is wearing them now. Underwears?? He looks at you and the underwears as if you have a needle instead of underwears and will tell you "No!" Can't" upon asking why "Said so" If it's something he wants....like chocolate.....he will make sure you give it to him at any cost. From asking over and over and over until you swear under your breath and give it to him to throwing himself on the floor and screaming and kicking until you are so worried that someone hears his screaming and will report that you are abusing your child when all you are doing is refraining from feeding your child chocolate for breakfast. And because of this....you calm the child down and give them the chocolate.
Sam is 2 yrs and 9 months in age. In June he turns 3. I pray that this stage will leave by then. Terrible Twos. He has them worse than any of his siblings.
If you don't hear from me for a few days it's because I am attempting to teach my stubborn Sam the rules, potty training and how to not throw fits because he can't have chocolate for Breakfast.

Easter

2008-03-25T09:51:00.002-04:00

Was a quiet day for us! After so much noise going on we needed peace. And we had it too. We stayed home and it was just us for the holiday. It's actaully easier on me to stay home and just be on Easter. It's the one holiday that is hard for me to celebrate.
Easter marks another year gone by without my Grandma. Another year when it's harder and harder to remember her. I can't even recall how old I was when she died. I know I was young possibley about 7 or 8. I can't recall the date anymore like I used to so know my heart goes by Easter even though Easter is never on the same date each year. It's easier to pick Easter to remember the memories as much as I can. This year I reflected back on the few memories I have left.
She was a crafty woman. She made everything from doilies to blankets, photo albums to jewelry boxes. There was never a time when she visited us or we her that she was not working on making something. Never a time when she would show me how to do whatever it was she was doing. The very last thing her and I made together was a jewlery box for me. It was white with blue trim. And on top of the lid for the box it said in Red....I Love You with hearts.
Her favorite perfume was Sweet Honesty. A scent that Avon used to carry and is now really hard to find. Up until a year ago I had her last bottle of it. One of the boys....or all three together had found the bottle on top of my dresser and sprayed the bottle until it would not spray no more. It's now all over a blanket I refuse to wash. I keep that blanket in my top drawer refusing to admit that the scent is fading.
When we would arrive at her house for a visit she would make Grandpa go up the horse barn and saddle the horse so we could ride her. The first horse I remember they had was Coco. I named her when she was a pony. After Coco was Jennifer the last horse to ever be at Grandma's house. Coco got really sick and had to be put down because she was suffering too much and beyond recovering. Jennifer loved to escape every chance she got. The last time she escaped with Grandma at the house....I ran to the house and told her. She gave me an apple and a carrot and told me to stand and wait for her by the spring of water that always ran in a ditch just past the lower driveway. Everyone else was calling her and trying to catch Jennifer. I stood there by the side of the road next to the spring just waiting. Jennifer came out of the woods behind the house and down the driveway and up the road to where I was. I was able to bring her back to the barn after offering her the apple the carrot and some water to drink.
(The spring of which I talked about runs in the ditch. It's pure water and always cold no matter the weather and really good to drink. When my grandparents moved into the place and seen the water trickling out they tapped into it with hose. The best place ever to get a fresh glass of water. There is also another spot in the pasture for the horses as well. That one kept a huge barrel cut in half full of water at all times. Every few days it would have to be empties out but it was the easiest way to keep water for the horse.)
I may now only have 3 memories of my Grandma but I know that she lives on in my heart. One day I plan to take my boys to the land she lived on and my Grandfather still lives on (he is another story for another day) or at least I hope he still lives there. I want my boys to know where it is that I spent many many summers as a little girl. One day.....it will happen.

On a happy note the kids were thrilled! They had a blast looking for their easter baskets and hunting eggs in the house. It's the law in NY when it's cold outside the egg hunt is to be held inside! I do have pictures and will post them throughout the week! Our day was peaceful and for that I was greatful. I was able to not only spend the day with my family but I was aslo able to think back on memories that are slipping away. And that is a blessing in itself.

Happy Easter

2008-03-22T18:07:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to wish you all a very Happy Easter tomarrow! I may or not blog tomarrow so I wanted to wish you all a Hoppy Day tomarrow!

Just thoughts

2008-03-21T09:35:00.003-04:00

Today I'm not as stressed out as I have been. I have taken a major step to prevent anymore drama. It's really not fare that I have to change my phone number but it's the only way that she won't ever be able to call me again. Ever.
I know I told you that she has a blog. I am going to link to her and you can tell me what you think about what she has to say. I almost think that her post is grounds for threating. However I am not going to do anything about it yet....I want to see where she is going to go with it.
I aslo see that she has linked to me. If I don't want her linking to me is there a way I can get her to remove it?? I only ask because I see it as way for her to contact me anytime she wishes.
So here is her blog: FingerLakes Life.
When you are done I would love to hear your thoughts on what she has to say.
This right here will be the last time I ever talk about her.

What was the point??(venting ahead)

2008-03-20T16:34:00.005-04:00

I don't get it. I don't understand why people do what they do. And frankly I really don't care. However when you try to make a mountain ouf of an ant hill and lie about something that could be serious....is wrong.
What am I talking about?
The Wanna Be a Grownup female that I was kind of enough to allow to stay at my house just so she could take advantage did something that was uncalled for. This is the reason why Child Abuse goes without being reported. She called CPS ( child protecitive services) saying that I abuse my children and have a house that is so fithy that you can't walk around in the house. Not only is the garbage, food, and dirty diapers on the floors but also human waste. Oh and I can't forget about the boxes and boxes packed full of things like books, magazines and newspapers.
I admit I don't keep my house looking like it belongs in a magazine or like my house has been cleaned by hospital staff. However my house is never that bad. EVER. Abusing my kids?? I admit there are times when I spank my kids for certain reasons and then we have a talk about what they did. However I have Never ever never ever left a mark on them. EVER.
Want to waist the tax payers money on false claims?? Go ahead. In the end I am the one left laughing in your face because there was NOTHING to be found wrong with my house. In fact the person who came here today laughed because i had told her I had pots and pans to wash so those are in the sink.
However I do have to be thankful that this happened. Why you ask? Because not only is the case going to be closed upon the worker speaking to my huband and children (protocall) but because Sam will get another eval done on his development just to be safe. And who knows? Maybe he needs help that his doctor has failed to see.
I am thankful that I can see the positive in this really big negative!
People who cheat on there husbands and lie to their husbands all the time are not to be trusted. And when they are younger than you??? Not to be trusted. Better luck next time!
I will never ever help someone in need again. I just hope I never have to turn someone who is really in need down because of this person.
All of the totall Bullshit because my husband got tired of the fighting on the phone, someone other than me being on the computer, and for someone smoking way too many cigarrettes that he was buying for his wife.
Shameful, Disrespectful and down right horrid.
If I wanted to I could turn the tables and get her in some serious trouble with the IRS...yet that is going against who I am as a person. If I was to do that......it would put me in the same catagory as her.
That I am not.

Poof Be Gone!

2008-03-20T09:24:00.004-04:00

After I wrote up yesterday's post I did some real thinking. Instead of waisting my money, energy and time and heart on someone who felt the need to take advantage....I acted. See not only was she in a break up with her husband but she was talking to another man on my computer and phone and lieing to her husband. When Hubby got home last night I was finally able to get on the computer. Her husband was on so I took the step to fill him in on the other guy. She had told her husband that she stopped talking to the other so they could work things out. Being as kind as I am I could not allow them to work things out when from the get go she was lieing.
I have to back up a little bit here.....I told her BEFORE Hubby got home from work she could not be on the phone or computer when he came home. He wants to relax and not listen to any fighting on the phone. He didn't want anyone on the computer but me. And if any fighting happens on the phone there is no telling what he would do.
Did she listen to my warning??? Hmmm NO! She got on the phone with her husband around 8 and yelled and screamed and fought on the phone. At about 10 I said "You have to say I have to go now and just hang up the phone....Hubby is furious and it has to stop now!" Did she listen? Of course not. It continued. At 11:30 pm He himself said "Good Night Everyone get off the phone Bye" Another clear warning that if the phone was not hung up things were going to from really bad to war. They were given another 2 mins to finish the conversation. Did she get off? No cause we all know that is just too easy. Why avoid a war when we can have one?
I knew better than to even say a word to Hubby. Cause when he is that angry the best thing in the world one can do is walk away and keep your mouth shut. If Hubby and I get into a fight I walk away after 5 mins because I know it will only make it worse to keep the fighting going. I told her this over and over and over.
At Midnight Hubby was ANGRY. And I was too but I knew better than to say anything more because it would just add to his anger. He went upstairs after telling her ONCE again to GET OFF THE PHONE and if it's not hung up he would disable the whole system. At this point I just sit on the couch with her next to me and I tell her "Say bye right now. And hang up the phone." She says I'm trying and then says I have to go and continues to talk some more.
Hubby comes down stairs and gives her ONE more chance to say bye and hang up. When she did not do as she was told he ripped the power cord the phone out of the wall and went upstairs.
Instead of seeing her mistake she blamed him for not allowing her to finish her conversation.
I'm guessing as soon as her husband realized that the phone was disabled he came out to pick her up. And had the nerve to be upset that "Nobody has the right to tell him he can 't talk to his own wife and it's disrespectful" Umm I believe that they were being disrespectful to us and to our kids. We said no fighting on the phone. We said plenty of times to get off the phone. A phone that WE pay the bill for. It's not our fault that you wanted to push things to see where they would go.
How many times do you need to be told??? Who pays the bills here? It's not them. She is out. She is not allowed here. And I am done. Stick a fork in me I am done. I'm thankful that hubby and I are not fighting because I thought for sure when she walked out the door that we would get into a spat. Instead we were both relieved that she was gone.

PS. She now has a blog. Not sure if you want to know but thought I would tell you that she does.

Seeeing Red

2008-03-19T11:40:00.003-04:00

If there was ever a time when I wanted to be able to turn back the clocks now is the time. Saturday I offered to help a friend yet a friend I have set boundries with. Why do I do this all the time?? She calls for help and I always step up knowing what helping her is going to involve. I think this time it won't be like any other times...and really truley thought it would be pretty easy to help her. After all how hard can it be to take someone to the bus station so they can go back to their parents house in another state? Not hard. Yet for some reason I failed to remember the time the said bus station closes to buy the tickets. By the time we got her there they had been closed for 4 hours!
And then because my brain was on vaction to a beach I offered for her to stay with me until Monday and then we would get her to the station get her tickets and then on a bus Monday night. I'm not sure if my brain is still on vacation or if I have my days mix up or what. Today as I type this she is still here and I don't see a sign of her leaving yet. *bangs head on keyboard*
If you think it stops there.....guess again. I admit I am a smoker. I can afford MY own habbit. The friend quit her job and has been smoking up my supply. Let's break this down for you.
1 pack will last me 3 days (I have been working on cutting down) when it's just me.
1 pack with friend here will last not even 24 hrs.
Could be that my smoking has increased? Sure has. However I never smoked a pack on my own from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed.
Being nice I bought her a pack thinking this would help cut it down for the both of us and told her it had to last her at least 2 days. If i can make it go 3 she can at least go 2 right? Wrong. I gave her the pack at 9:30 AM and it was gone by 4PM.
She has even taken over my phone. I really don't mind because I don't really talk on the phone. What gets to me is that she calls her husband....they are splitting up yet let's work this out...and they have a screaming match from 5PM until I get so sick of it that I say I need to make a call. She screams on the phone.
Last night I sent hubby to the store to get some beer. Better he do this than throw her out on her ear in the middle of No Man's Land. This proves that I still have a heart. While he was gone I talked to her and told her that Hubby was upset about the Yelling on the phone while the kids are trying to go bed. The yelling after the kids are in bed. And he was upset because He checked.....wait fasten your seatbelts for this......My blog. This blog. First Time Ever....to see if I had been able to write here on my blog. And when he noticed that it had only been the two posts on Monday he was upset. He totally understands why I have the blog and is thrilled that I have a hobby. He asked me if I have visted any blogs and left comments. No not really a few here and there. He was ANGRY.
When I talked to her about this because it came time to speak now or forever hold my piece. She had the nerve to say that "I am not her wife. Hubby is not her husband and that she will do as she sees fit."
I grabed a beer cause Hubby was home, the wire for the internet and the phones and we both went up to bed. Oh and he disconnected the cable to the tv.
Today I have figure out how to get her out of my home. Sorry this post was a rant but I really needed to get this off my chest before I skinned her alive. Oh and if you are wondering where she is right now....she went to get more smokes because I left mine "in the car and hubby is at work" *evil laugh* I did that on purpose.

Sweet 16

2008-03-17T09:18:00.003-04:00

Happy Sweet 16 Miss Kayla!

I was 12 when Kayla was born. It's so amazing to see her today! I changed her diapers and fed her bottles and baby cereal! I helped her learn to crawl and walk. Being that I was the youngest, in a way having Kayla in the house was just like have a baby sister. I taught her how to walk and talk. I was her primary caregiver even at my young age because my sister worked and my mother worked so I was left in charge. This helped me to grow up a diffrent way and helped to shape the way I am a Mom today.

I can not get over how much she has grown over the years! She used to fit in my arms and today she is taller than I am! How does that happen?? I am a very proud aunt!

Happy Sweet 16 Miss Kayla Marie!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2008-03-17T09:06:00.002-04:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!! If you are not wearing I am pinching you! LOL.

Family Photos

2008-03-15T07:55:00.006-04:00

This is my favorite picture.

The only picture ever just hubby and I!

Sam
Gregory

Curtis all four kids

So excited!

2008-03-14T13:29:00.002-04:00

I'm not at home right now as I am visiting a friend waiting and couting down the minutes till the parent teacher meeting. When I do get home I have to clean off my desk to hook up my scanner again to the pc so I can share the family photos!! They are in and they turned out great! Hate to cut this sort but just wanted to say that the pictures are in!! Wooo hooo!

Pushy? No Not the teachers, can't be

2008-03-13T11:36:00.003-04:00

On Feb 29 I had meetings with the specail ed board to talk about Curtis' progress or lack there of and to write up his IEP for the next school year. The teacher, speach therapist, occupational therapist, school phycologist, and his extra help reading teacher all told me "He can't focus. Let's do another ADHD questionaire so that can be taken to his doctor so he can be put on meds. After all he was on them last year and made great gains. Let's put him back on meds!" To make this a shorter post if you don't know how I feel about Curtis being put on meds again read this post here! I will even wait for you to go and read that in case you missed that post.
Oh ok your back now. 2 days after the meeting I got the persmission paper work so they can do the ADHD qukestionaire. His teacher did one and I did one. I did it to see where he is and to see if he is any worse than he was last year as I still have that paperwork. I returned the paperwork on March 11 cause I wanted to take my time with the questionaire. The same day I wrote this. Yesterday was report card day. And not only did I get report cards but I got the report back from the school on the ADHD questionaire that was done.
On the paper is a note: "Please take this to Curtis' doctor so he can figure out what meds will help Curtis focus better in school."
Word for word people.
This post here...the one I wrote last night? Was my reaction to this note.
I thought for sure that I was going to have more time to research. More time to come up with a game plan. Guess not. However I do the ball is in my hands and I am going to hold it and keep it warm. And even though I am holding the ball I expect my phone to ring sometime next week to find out if I had to the doctor yet. Oh wait scratch that. I bet his teacher asks about it tomarrow afternoon durning my parent teacher meeting.
For the love of what is left of my sanity if you know of anything that might help me find an alternative that I can research myself and take to the doctor....please feel free to let me know about it! I am open to anything at this point other than meds.

New Colors

2008-03-12T21:59:00.003-04:00

Just wanted to let you know that I was bored tonight and so I played around with settings and color choices and this is the outcome! I hope you like it as much as I do! Right now color choices are about the only thing around me that I am able to change. If you are thinking that I am feeling out of control then you deserve an award. I am feeling out of control and I'm grasping trying to get my grip.
Anyways enough about me! I just want you to enjoy the new colors!

WW Sam hiding

2008-03-12T12:09:00.004-04:00

Sam is forever hiding in a laundry basket. Even if the basket is full of folded laundry he will dump it out. Or if it's full of dirty laundry that is waiting by the washer to be washed he will dump it out. Sometimes but not all the time he even finds an empty one too.

For more visit here and here.

Figureing things out

2008-03-11T17:54:00.002-04:00

My 6yr old is really testing my parenting skills and abilities. It's been 3 yrs since he was dx'd with autism and sensory prossessing disorder . 3 very long, tiring, testing, loving, hard work years. I have enjoyed all 6 yrs of his life. And once again we have a trial to deal with. He was dx'd a year ago with ADHD being more hyper than anything. We tried meds with him and the boy he became on them was not him at all. He became a new boy who we didn't quite like. We still loved him of course. But we hated the sleeping he was doing with the first 2 meds we tried. He would sleep litterally from 4pm to 7am when we would finally get him to wake up for breakfast and to go to schoo. Waking him for dinner was not doable. Sure he would wake up walk to the table and go back to sleep at the table. The next med we tried allowed him to be awake. Yet it would make his sensory seeking tendencies even worse. He could not feel where his body was. The same effect people have going out to outer space. Not having gravity, yet he did. He ran into walls just to feel the wall. Throw his body on the floor just to feel. Fall just for the sake of falling against the very hard surfaces. The seeking became worse. He was covered in bruises. I had to call his teacher every morning before school to let her know about how he got a new bruise. I feared that a stranger would see his legs and arms and forehead and report us thinking we were abusing him...this is how bad this became. The last one we would try would make him an emotional wreck. Give him something he asked for and he would throw himself on the floor and tears would flow. Ask him what was wrong and it would get worse. Again we would go back to the doctor. This time with Daddy. He had enough. He put his foot down and said no more. So no more it would be.
Until now.
9 months of not being on meds. 9 months of us adjusting to "This is our son. We accept him for the way he is. We will find ways to deal and live with our son because there is no cure. Just ways of coping and meds were no longer an option for us to cope." We have. We do. And still do.
Yet again someone is in our ears saying he needs the meds because he is no longer focusing the way he should. The meds would help him focus. And my favorite "He was on them last year and they worked wonders and we don't understand why the meds stopped"
Would you be able to continue with something that was not working? No? I didn' think so. Hubby says that people can't and won't ever accept our son the way we have. And in 6 yrs I have learned this myself and have come to terms with that. Yet it's the school that is pushing us in a direction I fear going back to. I don't see it working again. I see more of what we went through last year.
I don't know what we are going to do but I hope I can figure this out BEFORE the school pushes harder. Any more pushing from them and I am apt to go off on them the way I have with my mother. What? I have not told you about her? I will.In the near future.
In the meantime when I am not to be seen here on my blog or others' blogs or any of the networks that I am a part of I am on the internets looking for other options besides meds.